I had a whole list of things I wanted to do today, but most of the day has been preoccupied by thinking about LGBT issues and whether to preach, and looking for resources, and reading and learning. I'm a little frustrated by lack of local organizations or resources... at least in my internet searching. I'd love to take part in Ally Week that will happen later this month, but the one program is really run by Gay Straight Alliances which are student programs. I'm not a teacher and I don't have any children in school. I don't even know if local high schools have a chapter. I looked like at one time a local community college did, but that myspace page for it looked pretty outdated and inactive.
I did have a nice, if not overly long, talk with my nephew this morning. I called to let him know what my week has been like. To tell him I'm thinking about preaching on this topic if not this weekend then perhaps soon (and also the brief history of the parish, I'm not sure if he had know it) and how frustrated I get that people think Conservative Christians speak for the rest of us.
I said that people might better understand some of where I'm coming from if I could tell them how it is personal for me, but that I didn't want to out him without his permission. If I want to be more specific, he gave me permission to talk about him. I also asked, since the term some use is "gender-queer" but that's newer and probably also used more from inside the community, would I say he's questioning, would I use Transgender. He said probably Transgender would fit best.
When I met up with my family this summer to celebrate his birthday, when we all went out to see a show he was dressed more feminine than he'd been in public before. I witnessed first-hand how anxious he was, just in trying to be who he was in public, clearly very concerned over what people might think or say. Fortunately my sister, his mom, is just awesome. Loving, supportive and encouraging. His Dad is too for the most part, but that night it was more difficult for him - it being a new experience for him as a Dad. I don't think he had so much a problem with his son per se, as maybe he was worried about how people might treat him and just wasn't really prepared for that and didn't know what to do with those feelings. I have to say, my mom being from an older generation, while she loves my nephew to pieces, I wasn't exactly sure what it'd be like for her, how she'd react. I was so proud of her - she was awesome. She didn't seem to bat an eye, but she'd also seen him wearing a little make up etc. before, living farther away I had not. It was a new experience for me, but I didn't personally care what he was wearing if it makes him feel more true to himself. What the thing for me was is that he is the closest thing I have to a child at this point, and I felt myself feeling a bit like a protective mama bear. Observing others nearby and having a sense within myself of "don't you dare be cruel to my baby." Thankfully, as far as I'm aware nobody said anything within our hearing, and nobody really seemed to be staring. So on the whole things went pretty well that night, but of course people are not always so well behaved, and he doesn't always have 4 of us physically with him for support.
Anyway, I'd told him about how I'd likely have a sermon all written out if/when I do it, and if so I'll send him a copy. He seemed to appreciate that. We talked a little more, I mentioned to him the movie I had been reminded of in my websurfing that I've heard some good things about but have not seen yet called, "For The Bible Tells Me So." We talked a little about that. I also expressed my sadness over the bullying and the resulting suicides and told him that I love him. I was glad I called, even though with the time difference he might have wished his Aunt had waited another hour or two. I have also ordered "For The Bible Tells Me So" from Amazon, and downloaded a curriculum/discussion guide on it from The Human Rights Campaign. Downloaded a getting started guide from Straight For Equality too, and browsed the Steps To Take in speaking up at The Religious Institute.
Last night I had browsed a lot of info as well. Ran across a site called Change.org and they have a page for Gay Rights. Ran across a project that the GLBT group at USC is doing during Ally Week where they are collecting photos of people holding a sign in front of them that says "I'm an Ally." I emailed to ask if they were interested only in allies in the USC area, they responeded that while that's where they're placing their energy, allies can be from anywhere. So maybe I'll send them a photo. :) Also watched some of the videos at the "It Gets Better" Project. Can I just say I just love Tim Gunn? I always enjoy him on Project Runway, but it was very moving to see the video he shared.
After seeing those videos - one at Dan Savage's blog was from a straight man, I started thinking, maybe I could make one so these youth know that not all clergy or Christians think there's something wrong with them (many have been hurt by people calling themselves Christian in their pasts). so earlier my brain was working overtime before and after talking to my nephew and I jotted down notes possibly for a sermon and/or a video. I brought my video camera and tripod to the parish. But I couldn't decide for sure if I wanted to do it, or what exactly to say without rambling forever. Nobody says a video has to be made today... I could make one later if it seems like something to do.
So here it is early evening and I'm getting tired and would like to go home. I still have sermons to work on for funeral and for Sunday, and some housework to do (laundry), and Sunday's bulletin to finish proofing so secretary can print it tomorrow. I have a prior commitment for most of tomorrow, so I won't be able to do much then, except perhaps a bit in the morning.
the combination of the importance of this issue + my ADD has become a hyper-focused black hole the last couple days. I should probably force myself to do some of my other tasks when I get home... and give my head and heart a little space. The change of environment should help me transition to working on something else.
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