Appt and Clutter

I had a good talk with Dr. H. yesterday and have scheduled time next week and week after Easter, to kind of follow up on things we're discussing and keep on-track through my first solo Holy Week.

One of the things we discussed is I'm stressed by my house. On my book spree the other day I bought 2 small, easy books on reducing clutter and organizing. I originally hadn't gotten a storage unit because I didn't want to pay for something that wouldn't be necessary if I got rid of things and I also thought if I re-arranged things just so there'd be more room. I know in some of the boxes there's just old bills and maybe even junk mail that needs to be shredded and thrown out. Why pay to keep a box of that around? Figured when I had time I could go through and throw out most of it, keep important stuff. But I've been here almost a year and my dining table is still not put together because the dining area has been my storage area. Some of the boxes remain unpacked, or weeded through to toss stuff.



While there's a rationale to the original plan, based on not liking my home Dr. H encouraged me to rethink it. He said I have a goal to feel less stressed & more comfortable in my house. Going through everything could take a while. So, to meet the immediate goal of feeling comfortable in my home, and feel like it's easier to clean because I'm not trying to maneuver around stuff, that I consider a storage unit. This way I can free up space so it feels less cluttered etc. Then I can either go through stuff at the unit, or bring a box or two home at a time to go through. Gradually empty the storage unit and get rid of it.

I like the idea of moving some of this stuff out of the way so my house feels less chaotic, more peaceful, and gives me the space to actually figure out where things might go as I sort through and get rid of things. So, today I looked at a storage area. If all I move there are various boxes, the small one should work. You can stack up to the ceiling in the unit, which I haven't really done here.

Let's be honest. My living space may not look like this:



or this:



On a regular basis, at least not without some help. But I can definitely move closer to it. :)

A tidbit from one of the books (not sure if it was in one I flipped through and didn't buy, or one I bought). Most of what we file away never gets looked at again. The writer said that for many things you'll get them again (another catalog), can find the information if you really need it, or information is changing so what you've kept may be outdated. That was pretty liberating. I had been holding onto potential "resources" at the office. Mail I hadn't really had time to do anything with, but looked like it could be useful. I dumped a lot of that in the recycle yesterday. yay! There's more to do, but it's a start. I do know that there are certain kinds of things that I *will* look at, because I already have. But much of it can go bye-bye.

The books say to tell someone about your plan to de-clutter. Also you are to write out your reasons (which I've kind of done here, could be more specific). So after buying the books I told one good friend, then yesterday I told Dr. H., and today I told a friend who could be a good person to use as a "buddy" to keep me company as I work on stuff. Books say that the buddy doesn't even have to be helping, they can be doing they're own project, but just having someone there can help. I think it can help you stay on task and committed to the project... can't just decide to put it off and do something else instead with the friend there. But I think the other big thing is that with someone else there maybe it seems less tedious, or difficult.

Colleagues, Books, Dr H, & clutter

I have not been sleeping well this week. Stayed up very late for no good reason a couple of nights and I'm feeling it, but keep plugging along.

Dr H
Get to talk to Dr. H today. I know it will not magically make everything different or better, but I feel good about taking the step toward self-care. I shared with my friend who's regular appt with their therapist inspired me that it had done that and I have this appointment. Friend was happy and encouraging and also said that they would recommend their person if at any point I wanted to look into someone who's local. She said the person she sees is worth the 50 minute one-way drive. Kind of like my continuing to drive 90 minutes to see Dr. H. after I had moved to my previous location.

My week...
Feel like I didn't get much accomplished yesterday even though I was there from 10 until 8:30. Spent a good amount of time on a document for a committee I'm on, so that's pretty much done and ready to be emailed (had secretary type a preliminary page from my written notes... one word... spellcheck). Also spent a good amount of time finding info and creating a handout as additional info for our adult study in case people wanted it... but only a couple people took it. So, felt a bit like wasted time - was trying to be "prepared" and give people resources, but maybe I should have spent that time on proofing bulletins, the newsletter or even... *gasp* my sermon? But once again we did have good soup, good fellowship, and learned stuff about another faith tradition. So the evening was time well spent and served its purpose. It's how I spent the afternoon that could have been different.

Colleagues & Conversation - Solving the Problems of the Church :)

After the 2nd meeting on Tuesday I had a great conversation with 2 colleagues. We all really seemed to enjoy it and need that connection, that space to relate to others and have others to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. One even mentioned that after being able to talk with another person and myself at the Ordination on Saturday and our time on Tuesday they've realizing that's something they probably need to be more intentional about doing, they miss having that group of peers around to do this with like we had in seminary. I agree, I've really benefitted from these discussions too. So there we are, standing in a hallway, trying to solve the problems of the world. :)

Okay, maybe not that grand a scope, but we did talk about things related to the future of the church, the future of our ministries, post-moderism, emergent church, and how to reach out to the unchurched. It was noted that there *should* be people out there to reach, without sheep stealing, if the polls are right and only about 20% or less of people are in church on Sunday. So if you want to adjust that for error and to include other faith traditions, you still have to think that it's likely 60% of the people around us have no spiritual home, so how to we talk to them, reach out to them, etc. We talked about how while we and other colleagues or educated laity may be able to see some holes in popular books like "The Shack", we have to realize that that may be a good starting point with these folks. And then I remembered and shared how for me the entry point book was Neal Donald Walsh's "Conversations with God," because it got me thinking about God and thinking about a God that I could actually have a conversation with. I might be talking about some of this in my sermon on Sunday, if I do, it will be in the context of the Greeks who "want to see Jesus." How do we help people to see Jesus? And they may not even be able to name it, it may look more like, "sir... we wish to see, ummmm.... something" and we have to be able to recognize that that "something" is a spiritual longing, that perhaps they've sensed that "god sized hole" and they're trying to figure out how to fill it. Anyway... I really enjoyed that conversation the 3 of us had and what it got me thinking about.

Books! My solution to everything :)
After the conversation with colleagues I made it to the bookstore to pick up the copy of "The Great Emergence" by Phyllis Tickle that I had put on hold by phone on Sunday. On the one hand maybe I should have known better than to stray into the inner sanctum of the bookstore...*laugh*, just stayed at the counter, paid for my book, and left. That way I would not have spent about $100. On the other hand I did find some good things in my wandering. And I do give myself credit... while I let myself spend a long time looking at website-creation books. I ended up *not* buying one. I did so for a couple reasons. First, I couldn't decide which would be the best/easiest to get. But also I realized that if I had the book I might be tempted to read it and go there... and I know there are more important things I need to do with my time this week. So... no books for me on websites, (x)html, or CSS.

Another small victory... While looking at books on getting rid of clutter and organizing - I tried to be wise about what I chose and what really is going to fit my current purpose, and reign in that need to learn everything about it before I do it monster. So while there were one or more books that were more complete, more detailed and I kind of liked a questionnaire, or some worksheets in 1 or 2 of those. For the moment I need to just get a start. So I got two short books that are easy to read and don't have so much information that they are overwhelming.

So, here are the books that I left the store with (and I maybe should mention that I have a couple sitting in my Amazon shopping cart that I'm thinking about ordering in the near future). Okay, the books:

The one-minute organizer, plain & simple by Smallin
10-minute clutter control room by room by Alexander
The Last Lecture by Pausch
Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson (of Who Moved My Cheese)
The Present by Spencer Johnson
Our Iceberg Is Melting by John Kotter and Holger Rathgeber
The Great Emergence: How Christianity is Changing & Why by Tickle... and
An Altar in the World by Barbara Brown Taylor (her follow-up to Leaving Church)

Okay... I have to run so I can actually get bulletin proofed and a couple other things before my clergy group meets.

seeking balance with wrong number

Last week a friend called me. Twice. The first time I was in a meeting. Later I was on my way out of a coffee shop post-meeting so was able to answer. Friend said that they had had some time while driving to and from an appointment with their therapist and were thinking about me and wanted to check in, see how things were going. Friend seems to be pretty good at meeting with their person on a regular basis. That conversation and a couple others of late planted a seed.

While things are mostly positive (despite recent needs to vent), it is a bit stressful to try and juggle various things while also trying to learn new things, and then there *are* the things that needed venting about on top of those more regular things.

Ideally I should find a spiritual director, or a therapist or coach with ADD experience nearby (or heck, maybe 1 of each). But it takes time to layout history and build trust. So in the meantime I'd been thinking maybe I should at least check in by phone with Dr. H., my guy who helped me weed through the ADD stuff during seminary and I've checked in with periodically since. I was going to say it'd be perfect for me if he moved here or I was rich and could fly there or fly him in here. That just gave me a thought, I wonder if anyone meets using webcams?

Anyway, since I'm trying to rally and be more balanced and healthy I decided to call today to set up an appointment. I forgot I have both office and cell numbers in my phone and my phone defaults and calls a cell number first if I just hit "send" on the person's name. So Dr. H. answers and it sounds like it might be a restaurant and I realize what's happened. Doh! I say it's me, briefly explain the mix-up, I was trying to call the office to set up an appointment. He sounded happy to hear from me and said he guessed he'd talk to me soon then, after making sure I had the other number.

It was amazing what that brief moment of a combination of calm & cheerfulness did for my mood. I felt myself lighten somewhat, like when a friend steps in and helps you carry stuff. I hadn't realized the extent to which I was carting baggage around with me today until that moment. Which tells me the phone appointment is a good idea. Now I kind of regret not touching base more often, because there may be more to fill in, and maybe I wouldn't have let myself become a stressball last week. I think the last time we spoke was in the fall in the wake of providing pastoral care for my parishioner who's spouse died by suicide. Well, I can't change the past but can only keep moving forward from here.

The secretary didn't call me back today so I should be contacted tomorrow to arrange something. Then it just depends on how busy he is, and getting our schedules to match up.

In terms of other areas of balance... In addition to journaling to work through stuff, and trying to get my butt to the gym I joined, I've considered the possibilities (for quite some time actually) of either a cleaning person or a coach to help me go through papers get organized, help me avoid junk-mail mountain. But I don't know where would be a better place to start, I feel weird about needing help with some stuff others don't seem to (of course if you're married there may be one more person making a mess, but there's two of you to do cleaning & organizing and other chores too - you can divide & conquer).

It's getting late and I want to get up early. Busy day tomorrow.