Update & I have a job (long)

Good grief, have I really not journaled here since graduation day? Time has certainly flown! I can't believe it's been almost 3 months. Crazy.

I think part of why I've put off journaling is because I've been thinking about creating a new account somewhere that's not as anonymous, but that hasn't happened yet so... thought I'd better start writing again somewhere. I have been writing some in my written journal and saving emails I've sent to people about things that have been happening, so the last 3 months is not entirely without record on my end.

I don't even know if I have readers anymore, but that really doesn't matter. I've pretty much journaled for my own reflection, processing, and brain-dump anyway.

A timeline/description of recent events:
(assuming a continuing search for placement/job from early Spring and forward)

May 16: graduation with my M.Div. Felt incredible to finally have that Master's hood around my neck. Made me wish I'd bought my own instead of renting (which was free through the seminary).

June 3: ordination as a transitional deacon (priesthood ordination to follow approximately 6 months to 1 year later, God willing and people consenting). So now I can officially receive mail to "The Rev. so and so" and wear a clergy shirt and regular collar, and do deacon's ministry. What an amazing day! Words just can't describe. I was supported by family and friends who attended.

Mid-June: a 21-hour car trip one-way to Ohio driving through the night with 2 other students to go to our Church's General Convention - a meeting in our church that happens once every 3 years. A great decision to go, got to network some and got to see the church at work first-hand.

End of June: Attended ordination of 5 classmates (one service) that was happening within a several hour drive.

July 12: Had 2 in-person meetings in one of the nearer dioceses. First I went to the diocesan offices and met with their Bishop. Then I went to a parish to meet with a Rector (priest) about working with him and then had a slightly more formal interview later that afternoon with him, a couple staff members and a parishioner.

As it turns out, this is a position that a classmate had been interested in and was offered, but had decided to turn down because classmate's spouse is also clergy and this would be too far to commute and live in the same household. They were holding out some hope that spouse might find a position in the same diocese, but closer so that classmate might be able to take the position if it were still open. So that added a wrinkle to things. However people kept saying to me: take them out of the equation and look at this position like it's any other, do you feel called there? Don't try to play God, and it's not your job to find them positions, it's your job to find your own position. If you don't look out for yourself nobody will, at least they have one income - you don't have any. Also people thought I had integrity and compassion in that I called classmate to say hey, this is what's happening, and ask where are you guys at?, which not everyone would have done. So that was the message/feedback I was getting from folks, not one person said, "yep it's tough to get placed near each other as a couple, you should keep looking."

The visit and interview went really well from my perspective, and Rector says so himself as I'm getting ready to leave. Rector commits to letting me know about the position by July 20, after he's had some time to sit with it and pray about it.

July 13: Had a phone interview with a parish in Virginia (you know I still haven't heard a peep from them, does not make a good impression). The fact that the rector felt it was their duty to "inflict" a question on me during the interview because they had once been asked it during a search process tells you a little something about the individual I think. That bothered me.

July 20: Phone call from Rector in nearby diocese offering me the position. He knows I have 2 more trips planned and gives me until August 7th to give him my answer (I thought that was generous of him, he recognized the importance of my discernment and gave me time for it).

July 21: Fly to the state of South Carolina for the weekend to visit a parish and interview for a position, includes a chat with the bishop.

July 24: come down with an "airplane" bug and am sick all week - blah.

July 28: late morning, Go to doctor suspecting sinus infection, she agrees and am given antibiotics. Late afternoon, fly to Arizona to visit a parish and interview for a position (oh yeah, fun to fly when you're congested).

July 31: While still in Arizona, receive email from South Carolina that they liked me, but think they need someone with more experience than a newbie just out of seminary (rector there is up for chatting more about it if I'd like to, but he'd just wanted to let me know since he knew I had one offer and was on another interview). That afternoon have a chat with the AZ bishop and fly out.

August 1: Receive a call from the Rector in AZ. They liked me too, if it was just a regular assistant's position there'd be no question. But the position is 50% youth and they're not sure about how I connected to the youth I met (I should add this was for about an hour with no fun activity planned except to eat ice-cream and chat and the kids have never met me before, not necessarily the best situation to assess what they were looking for).

Tired from traveling, worn-out from the job-search, and still recovering from a sinus infection, this news pushed me over the edge.

I started crying and called neighbor across the hall - always a good person to both listen and give perspective. Neighbor observed that if they don't pursue bringing me on because of the youth piece and they say it's 50% of the position, in reality it could really end up being more like 75 to 80% of the position and I didn't want youth work to be that big a piece of my first position, I was hoping for more variety... so, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Hmmm... okay, good point.

I realize that I don't have any other possible offers for a position before I will have to give my answer about the one I have been offered, so I need to figure out what my answer is. Do I accept it, or do I keep looking? Now that I've been traveling for two weeks, I try to take some time to remember what the interview had been like there, and what the position would be. Could it be a good fit? Later in the afternoon when I was feeling better I realized I had some questions so I called the Rector to touch base and ask some questions I have (including what the salary would be - found out there is a diocesan minimum and it seemed pretty fair). I also spent some time on the internet getting an idea of what kinds of rentals are available and what housing costs might be. Also talked about the position and my options with my sister.

August 2: Called my bishop on his cell phone during his vacation (yes I did apologize for calling while he's on vacation) to say I have an offer that I have to make a decision on, do you have a few minutes to chat? Bishop is great, sure, sure he says, fill me in, what's happening? I tell him some about it, he thinks it sounds like a good opportunity. Are there any drawbacks? I mention the wrinkle with the classmate. I think Bishop is a pretty wise man with a good head on his shoulders. Bishop kind of gently but cutting to the heart of the matter says something like, "So... what you're saying is that the only drawback to this position is that you have a classmate who *might* want the position, *if* their spouse can find a job nearby?" Heh! I'm sitting there thinking, "ummmm... well I guess when you put it like that it sounds a little silly."

Bishop says he doesn't want to be overly directive but that he thinks I should seriously consider accepting this position. Also he mentioned that I don't have to change my diocese of canonical residence right away, so while I would be working in one with that bishop's permission, I would still be officially tied to my home diocese until such time as I'm interested in transferring completely. This puts my mind at ease some in the midst of the current tensions in our Church. I know my bishop and diocese and know they're not planning on going anywhere. I don't think this other diocese and bishop would be going anywhere, but don't know them well enough yet to be as certain about that. Bishop says,"and the door here is always open", and then referring to his thoughts and comments asks, is that helpful? Yes, yes it is. :)

So I was originally thinking that I'd want to go back down and worship in the space to do further discernment. But after sitting with things for a while I realized that this was a good opportunity, that it was a good fit, pretty much everything I'd been hoping for, really... so there was no good reason to turn it down.

So rather than wait any longer and make them wait longer I decided to call the Rector and tell him that I would like to accept their offer. He was quite delighted and things just started rolling along from there, busy, busy, and things in motion!

August 3: Sent letter to bishop of diocese I'll be working in asking to be licensed to work in his diocese.

August 4: Sent my Bio and a photo to the parish for them to include in the newsletter. Offered to preach on the 13th, the day I'll be introduced to the congregation since I already had written a sermon for that day's readings for a class in the Spring, and Rector is just getting off vacation and will have extra stuff to do in relation to bringing me on. Rector accepts my offer. I guess there's nothing like just jumping in!

August 5: Went to the city I'll be living in, met up with Rector who drove me around pointing out a perimeter that I probably want to live within and possible places to consider looking for apartments. In the afternoon I'm on my own to drive around. Visited some apartments/condos for rent and had a good lunch.

August 7: Went back to the city I'm moving to. Attended the specially called vestry meeting that was to let them know I'm being brought on and to introduce me to them. They were all very friendly, welcoming, and excited. They've been wanting to bring on a 2nd priest for almost 2 years, so they are happy that this is finally happening. Afterward got a bite to eat with Rector. Also had packed up a few boxes of books and some personal knick-knack type things to personalize my office that I brought down and dropped off in my office. I stayed overnight in a guestroom at the diocesan center.

2 Funny things happened during dinner: 1) Rector called himself and left himself a message about something he needed to do. I'm sitting there dumbstruck - I do this *all* the time and have rarely run across anyone else who does it, especially in my presence. 2) Discover that we both have problems entering contemplative prayer (we keep thinking about things) and find labyrinths an easier way to enter a similar prayerful place.

August 8: Look at a condo that's available in the morning. Am told later that the other people interested have decided to stay in the unit they're in. But I have talked this out with my sister while I had breakfast after seeing the place and have decided that while they are really close and it's a tough decision since this one is available sooner, that I think I liked the other one a little better and it will save me a little money in the long run, so I will keep the appointment I have with the other location later that afternoon to turn in an application and a deposit to hold the place.

Afternoon: I went to the parish, spent some time with the staff just chatting over some enchiladas someone had brought. Then was introduced to the head of the school and a couple of the school staff (the parish runs a preschool/kindergarten for ages of about 18 months to 6 years). I have to come up with a title for the children to call me besides just my first name. Miss? Reverend? Chaplain? Mother? I've got a good discussion going on my e-group for Generation-X Women Clergy that I started yesterday. Lot's of good thoughts and reflections on the whole issue.

We went back to the office to chat and work out some details. I got a draft of the letter of agreement/compensation package. I have a draft of the preaching rotation. I found out I will have Monday's off and he takes Fridays. This was fine with me because the priest in South Carolina who has 30 years experience said he used to take Fridays but often found he'd be working on his sermon and it wasn't a true day off, so he began taking Mondays. I can see myself doing the same thing based on what my sermon-writing process has been. So Monday's should be good. Friday's I'll be in charge of the children's chapel. Rector gave me a parish directory and a pictorial directory. Browsed through it and pointed out a couple of people that things have been difficult with for him, so I won't be caught off guard. One woman when asking how the assistant rector search was going didn't seem like she would be happy about the possibility of it being a woman. Doh! Well, we'll see what happens.

Rector expressed the desire to have open, safe communication between us, basically for it to be an okay place to air some frustrations and concerns so that it didn't inappropriately get aired to staff and so that Rector's wife doesn't have to be the sounding board as much. Might thoughts are that we are supposed to be a ministry team and to support one another, so that seems that talking to a clergy colleague either on your staff or someone else in town you trust or maybe a classmate from seminary, would be exactly the place for it. So I was good with that, and expect it to work both ways.

In the afternoon I met up with the owner of the apartment I want, gave her the application and the deposit. Since this is a privately owned set of about 6 units, it's more personal. She's running a credit/background check as a formality but doesn't expect any problems. She called today to say the office hadn't checked the fax machine, so they were being slow getting it processed. When I was with her I told her that I've paid off a couple cars and a couple credit cards and a big chunk of student loans in the past, it's just that when you're a grad student living off charity and scholarships that things get trickier. She seemed to understand. Hopefully that, plus my being clergy and she saw me in my collar that day instead of the t-shirt I was wearing Saturday, and my salary, will be convincing enough to let me move in. If I do end up there, there is apparently a psychologist who lives upstairs, and then 2 nuns who live in one of the other units. What a combination? Perfect! :)

The only drawback is that it's not available until about September 1st and my first full day of work (and it *will* be full, from about 8:30 am until 8 or 9pm) is August 15th. That means for about 15 days I will need to figure out how often to commute vs. how often to stay overnight. Will I stay most of the week, then I need to get a catsitter.

Fortunately, I am blessed. Besides the fact that there are a few guestrooms at the diocese that I could have access too if they're not already booked, an Alumni who graduated last year that I emailed to say I was going to be working in town emailed back. Said he and his wife have a guest bedroom with a guest bath that I'm welcome to use if I need a place to stay while working out living arrangements. In a second email said they have a cat too so if I want to I'm welcome to bring the kitties. Also, a new student who will begin studies at the seminary this year that I already knew from an e-group has offered to help feed the kitties. I'm just not sure how well my cats would get along with a 3rd cat, especially in an unfamiliar environment. While they are pretty easy-going and adaptable from our various travels and living arrangements, I'd like to make it as easy on them as possible. It might be better for them to just not see me much during the week, but be able to stay in a familiar place. I wouldn't be worrying about them sneaking out the door and getting lost, on top of the stress of starting my new job.

So... that's pretty much where things are.

I took yesterday off, don't think I did much. I did send out an email to my classmates, some seminary faculty and staff, and the 2 classes behind me (who'd wanted to stay informed of my job search) letting them that I now have a position.

Today I've found myself in the black hole of the universe of Amazon.com and church publishing websites looking up (and saving to a wish list) various books for liturgy and prayers with children, and some other topics that may relate to my ministry or that might be good to use for a class. I have to come up with something to teach - not immediately, but I'm guessing before too long. He mentioned something about it being in the area of spirituality or formation. I'll have to talk to him more about this, but it was a lot to take in all at once the other day.

I found out this afternoon that I can stay in the guest room at the diocese on Saturday night, so then I won't have to leave insanely early in the morning to make sure I make it to the early service with time to spare. It will be better to already be there and within a few miles of the parish. Rector also called me to say that Senior Warden and his wife would like to have us both over for lunch on Sunday after the 2nd service. I said that sounded fine.

I haven't decided yet if I will just plan to stay down there Sunday, Monday and Tuesday at alumni's house. Or come back Sunday afternoon and then skip the thingy on Monday morning that I don't have to go to because I won't have officially started yet and Monday's are my day off... but it would be good to be at. Or I could drive back down Monday morning with my stuff. If I skip it I wouldn't have to be back until Monday night or Tuesday morning. Ahhh... decisions, decisions and the complications of not yet having an apartment.

I'm not complaining though. I have a job/ministry to do, I have a draft letter of agreement, I have an office, and I have keys to the church buildings and offices. So things are in motion. :)

I'd better end this so I can post it before I lose it. I can add other entries later about other stuff.

If anyone out there is reading, or read this far... wow! Thanks for your interest and for coming by my journal. :)

~~bythesea