Made it through two 4th Advent (Christmas Eve day) services (I preached), and two Christmas Eve services and one Christmas Day service. Came home yesterday and was pretty much useless for the rest of the day. Talked to family on the phone. Nose was a bit stuffy so took an allergy pill that I think made me tired. Cold and sleepy I hung out on the couch with a bathrobe, a blanket and the cats. There was an "Ice Age" marathon on... I can't tell you how many times I saw various parts of the movie throughout the afternoon, but I never did watch the whole thing through from start to finish. Heh. weird. I've seen it before though.
I'd been invited to a staff member's house for dinner with some of their friends and a couple parishioners, but shortly before dinner was to begin I realized I was still sleepy, and not feeling super social, and still in pajama pants and bathrobe. It wouldn't have been difficult to go get back into real clothes, but having had dinner with another staff member and their family the night before between the two evening services, I wasn't really feeling like I needed to have "Christmas dinner." What I needed was a little quiet. It was probably one of the most low-key Christmas days I've ever had. I don't know if this will become a new trend for me or not. Hopefully every year I won't be so far away from family and/or friends that I won't be able to arrange seeing them at some point. Also most years there won't be quite so many services in a row. This was one of the more quirky years in the cycle.
Felt like something the cat dragged in this morning. Finally managed to get up and moving and got into the parish at a decent and average time for me, but still about a half-hour later than I was planning on being there today. Doh! Spent a lot of the morning on some ordination planning stuff and also felt a little like I was spinning my wheels. A little after 2pm realized I needed to eat and the way I was feeling it would probably be good to get out and get a break. After dropping a few things in the mail I came home. Having made it through Advent and Christmas the next thing on the horizon is my priesthood ordination. I was feeling overwhelmed by little details and having a hard time deciding about a few things. Then I was feeling pressure because I realized that decisions have to be made, the ordination is in a little over a week.
I called G hoping he would answer. He'd gone through something not exactly the same but not dissimilar before his ordination a couple weeks ago. Thankfully he answered, so we chatted some. I told him I was kind of freaking out. We had a good talk. I realized that even though it seemed like the anxiety or overwhelm or whatever it was I was feeling was about the details of the service and the bulletin, that what was probably more likely was that it had to do with the actual step I'm about to take and the way it was expressing itself had to do with the details. Part of it could be all the little things to think about and the short amount of time in which to do things and make decisions. But I think the bigger part probably just had to do with the reality that now that I made it through Advent and the Christmas services that I realized how little time there is before the ordination. That it is almost here. This thing that for so long was so far off in the future will be here very soon. The reality of it started to settle in a couple weeks ago as G's ordination approached, but today it seemed like the realness of it hit hard. It took me by surprise.
I need to figure out a way in the next week to make some decisions and get some of the little details done, while still getting some other work done at the parish, and also finding some time to get my house in order for visitors, while getting my spiritual house in order for the ordination. Hmmmm. Well, with God all things are possible, right? So no problem. *grin* Seriously, we had borrowed a canvas labyrinth during Advent and I can't believe I wasn't walking it each time it was set up, but I did finally spend a good chunk of time walking it on Friday. It was a really good prayer time. I need to set aside some intentional time like that this next week, even if I'm not walking a labyrinth.
Well, it's getting late and I should try to go to sleep soon.
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