Some affirmations

I've gotten some nice affirmations the last couple of days. Nice to be getting them as I wrestle with the reality of the priesthood ordination being so close now.

I preached Sunday morning. Things are kind of a blur but if I remember correctly one parishioner was making a positive about my preaching, that she thought I did that well, or had that down, or something. I'm pretty sure it was this Sunday after the 2nd service. Nice to hear because of how I wrestle with preaching. Good to know that my prayer that God will speak to the people and that they'll hear what they need to hear no matter what it is I come up with to preach seems to be being answered. I do tend to pray a lot during sermon preparation asking for guidance, and what do they need to hear that connects to the readings?

One thing that is not fuzzy is that a different parishioner came up to me after the 2nd service and said something to the effect that she felt I was going to make a good priest - I wish I'd written it down that day because the exact wording is lost now. It felt like it was in response to my sermon, but it could have been because during announcements the Rector reminded folks that they are invited to the ordination. It was very unexpected, and just a great, positive, warm fuzzy of an affirmation. The timing was perfect because as I've gotten a little nervous or whatever this week, I have that to hold on to. Yes, even though it's been a long road, you've been on the right track... stay the course.

Last night I went to the choir holiday party. I almost didn't. I got held up and it had already been going on for an hour and I felt tired and a vague headache, but I figured it would probably do me some good to be social, that this is a good way to continue to get to know parishioners I'm ministering to better, and it also shows my support of the music and that I want to spend time with them. The host was trying to be hospitable and offer me an alcoholic beverage, but I was preparing to head home, and was tired, and I'm short so it just didn't seem like a good idea. Plus I'm kind of an alcohol whimp, it has to be something on the sweeter side or something that doesn't have a strong alcohol taste to it.

Anyway, I'd gotten my jacket and had come back into one of the rooms to say some goodbyes and he had something different that maybe he thought he'd offer to me. So we started talking and he told me some things about the parish and his connection to it that I hadn't heard before (see I knew it would be good to go to the party). And somewhere in this conversation he said some nice things about me, about how I'm approachable and he's so glad I'm there, and how now I'm part of the parish family, etc., etc. Very sweet.

The parish has been very warm and welcoming, but it was good to feel that it's beyond just hospitality, that folks have started to get to know me and feel like I'm part of them. Different people have said to me, "we're so glad you're here." Sometimes inside I find myself wondering, really? Why? I feel like I haven't done a whole lot so far, although I know my pastoral visits have been noted and appreciated (it's amazing how word gets around that you saw so-and-so).

It kind of feels like God knows that reality would set in this week and there would be a push to get things ready from here on out, and arranged for some warm-fuzzy booster shots of affirmation to keep me going, to ground me, to remind me of my call and community support I've had of that call as I've gone through this ordination process.

Also affirming to have people traveling to come to the ordination - family, friends, and some classmates. It's great to have their support and encouragement.

Well, it's getting late and I still have an order of worship to format either tonight or first thing in the morning.