Edited by diarist on August 10 2006 - I've decided to remove the text of my Sr. Sermon because I didn't know if I wanted to leave it out there forever for just anyone to run across.
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Disclaimer: This sermon was written specifically for our seminary community, this is not something I would preach just anywhere. Since they know me they would know my personality and sense of humor, and also since I know them I knew where I could push the envelope a bit (i.e. recounting a story from my first visit to a seminary - you'll see what I mean).
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Texts (Daily Office Year 2, February 22): Psalm 128, 1John 5:1-12,
and Gospel of John 11:45-54 (aka: "The Plot to Kill Jesus")
Senior Sermon: Being the Body of Christ
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be always acceptable in your sight O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.
Refrain: Caiaphas prophesied that "Jesus was about to die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but to gather into one the dispersed children of God."
(Text of actual sermon deleted by author August 10, 2006)
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Sr Sermon Feedback
Some feedback/comments I got on my sermon:
First: My evaluation. I only got about 4 hours sleep and then worked on it more in the morning, printing it out at about 11:20 when our service starts at Noon - Doh! But I'd know the main points of what I'd wanted to preach for well over a week, and it was simmering and getting under my skin (our homiletics prof says when you're done writing the sermon it isn't necessarily done with you yet, but I think my process often works more in reverse - the sermon gets done with me and then I can write it). So even though I in many ways "knew" it, I didn't have much time to practice it after I had it all typed out in its final form... had to go off my notes more than I planned, but nobody made a comment about that. It was also such a relief to have it done and over, and a nice bonus was people seemed to like it.
Other people's feedback:
By some "coincidence" what I preached about echoed a discussion the 2nd-year students had had that morning in one of their classes. So, it really hit home for some of them. I guess praying and praying over the thing worked. :)
Several people said I seemed calm and confidant - inside I was anxious and nervous, but apparently people couldn't tell.
M+ (Field Ed. Supervisor) said he thought I seemed more comfortable preaching in chapel and thought it was that this is my community - I know them and they know me, where at the parish we don't know each other as well. He said that people know my personality so they know where to laugh, and also I could personalize it more. It was definitely for the audience here and wouldn't necessarily translate over to any preaching situation.
A first year student who lives in my building said she and our liturgy prof looked at each other afterward and said, "whoa."
A staff member: Mentioned a particular piece/phrase that stood out to her because she had never put it that way before and it seemed to connect for her – naming the parts of the body, “there goes a lung, there goes an eye, there goes the heart.”
At lunch E said he was sorry he missed it, people had told him it was good.
Later that night two 2nd-years who'd said "good job" earlier in the day to me, when they found out G was dropping something off at my apartment told him to tell me I did a good job.
R: Called and left me a message saying she was proud of me and that she heard people talking about it during the day.
J - a 2nd-year: Said people were talking about it in her study group, and some other places in the afternoon.
M a staff member: Said I did a good job and that she'd mentioned something about the sermon in a meeting with two people high-up on our faculty/staff, they both said they missed it, and she told them it was worth hearing. When I said to her that I need to work on my process so I can finish early enough to work on delivery, she said she thought my delivery was fine.
Some emails from students as they RSVP'd about the baby shower:
D: PS--your sermon today was right on!
S: You did a great job on your sermon. Thanks for the clear prophetic voice and the hope as well.
EJ: PS FABULOUS and MOVING sermon today. Thank you for the inspiration and renewing of my spirit to do this work.
Another staff person: I’m so sorry I missed your sermon. I was in an 11:00 meeting that went on and on, and I hated to walk in chapel halfway through your sermon. Everyone was raving about it at lunch! (she asked me to send her a copy) I just read your sermon – WOW. It makes me wish all over again that I’d been there!
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When our preaching colloquy met I did get some good suggestions, things to think about next time, but they all prefaced it by saying that they'd really liked it and these were little things. It was nice to hear some of their reaction to some of the pieces of the sermon.
I'm just not sure in the future if I am preaching everyweek if it can take as long to simmer and for me to get it out as it currently seems to take, it's getting a little easier as I become more familiar with the nuts and bolts of it all and also more familiar with my own creative process, so maybe the time needed will shorten. I don't know if right now it's filling the time I have, and with less time in which to prepare I could finish and end up with a similar result? Preaching prof suggested estimating how long you're going to need and then calculate backward to figure out when you need to start, and to try and always be working ahead. I think he tries to work about a month ahead. I don't know if I could swing that... but I might be able to be working "this" week not on the sermon I would preach that coming Sunday but the following Sunday.
First: My evaluation. I only got about 4 hours sleep and then worked on it more in the morning, printing it out at about 11:20 when our service starts at Noon - Doh! But I'd know the main points of what I'd wanted to preach for well over a week, and it was simmering and getting under my skin (our homiletics prof says when you're done writing the sermon it isn't necessarily done with you yet, but I think my process often works more in reverse - the sermon gets done with me and then I can write it). So even though I in many ways "knew" it, I didn't have much time to practice it after I had it all typed out in its final form... had to go off my notes more than I planned, but nobody made a comment about that. It was also such a relief to have it done and over, and a nice bonus was people seemed to like it.
Other people's feedback:
By some "coincidence" what I preached about echoed a discussion the 2nd-year students had had that morning in one of their classes. So, it really hit home for some of them. I guess praying and praying over the thing worked. :)
Several people said I seemed calm and confidant - inside I was anxious and nervous, but apparently people couldn't tell.
M+ (Field Ed. Supervisor) said he thought I seemed more comfortable preaching in chapel and thought it was that this is my community - I know them and they know me, where at the parish we don't know each other as well. He said that people know my personality so they know where to laugh, and also I could personalize it more. It was definitely for the audience here and wouldn't necessarily translate over to any preaching situation.
A first year student who lives in my building said she and our liturgy prof looked at each other afterward and said, "whoa."
A staff member: Mentioned a particular piece/phrase that stood out to her because she had never put it that way before and it seemed to connect for her – naming the parts of the body, “there goes a lung, there goes an eye, there goes the heart.”
At lunch E said he was sorry he missed it, people had told him it was good.
Later that night two 2nd-years who'd said "good job" earlier in the day to me, when they found out G was dropping something off at my apartment told him to tell me I did a good job.
R: Called and left me a message saying she was proud of me and that she heard people talking about it during the day.
J - a 2nd-year: Said people were talking about it in her study group, and some other places in the afternoon.
M a staff member: Said I did a good job and that she'd mentioned something about the sermon in a meeting with two people high-up on our faculty/staff, they both said they missed it, and she told them it was worth hearing. When I said to her that I need to work on my process so I can finish early enough to work on delivery, she said she thought my delivery was fine.
Some emails from students as they RSVP'd about the baby shower:
D: PS--your sermon today was right on!
S: You did a great job on your sermon. Thanks for the clear prophetic voice and the hope as well.
EJ: PS FABULOUS and MOVING sermon today. Thank you for the inspiration and renewing of my spirit to do this work.
Another staff person: I’m so sorry I missed your sermon. I was in an 11:00 meeting that went on and on, and I hated to walk in chapel halfway through your sermon. Everyone was raving about it at lunch! (she asked me to send her a copy) I just read your sermon – WOW. It makes me wish all over again that I’d been there!
---------------------------
When our preaching colloquy met I did get some good suggestions, things to think about next time, but they all prefaced it by saying that they'd really liked it and these were little things. It was nice to hear some of their reaction to some of the pieces of the sermon.
I'm just not sure in the future if I am preaching everyweek if it can take as long to simmer and for me to get it out as it currently seems to take, it's getting a little easier as I become more familiar with the nuts and bolts of it all and also more familiar with my own creative process, so maybe the time needed will shorten. I don't know if right now it's filling the time I have, and with less time in which to prepare I could finish and end up with a similar result? Preaching prof suggested estimating how long you're going to need and then calculate backward to figure out when you need to start, and to try and always be working ahead. I think he tries to work about a month ahead. I don't know if I could swing that... but I might be able to be working "this" week not on the sermon I would preach that coming Sunday but the following Sunday.
A whole month?
Good grief - it's been a month since I posted. Where did the time go? Oh yeah... could be starting our last semester of seminary, or the February that wouldn't quit... push the two together and, well... no posts.
A lot going on. Enjoying the semester and our classes and have managed to stay pretty much on top of assignments... ummmm yeah, finally in my *last* semester I can do it. Why now, I don't know, could be the combination of all kinds of things, but I'm not complaining at this point.
So February:
I taught a two-week class with my classmate the first two Wednesdays of the month, finally wrote my ember day letter to my Bishop, went home for diocesan convention the weekend of the 10th, received our GOE results on the 13th, officiated Evening Prayer and gave a homily on the 15th, had to turn in 4 papers I owed to profs to wrap up my incompletes from last semester in the first two weeks of the month so I worked on those and got them turned in, preached my Senior Sermon on Feb 22nd (which took time and energy to write), planned a baby shower for the 25th for a classmate with the help of another classmate, created a little baby-shower liturgy combining Noonday prayer with Blessing of a Pregnant Woman (seemed to go over well), ran a 1-hour BCP scavenger hunt for an acolyte festival earlier on the 25th, and had to help lead discussion about one of our readings in Theology on March 1st. All that including attending classes, workstudy and a few liturgy assignments.
More on some of these in later posts.
On the G front - we still haven't really talked about the other discussion we had. My month was nuts and we both had Senior sermons to get out of the way. Also, I was trying to figure out what I might say. Do I want to try and go there, or not? That probably deserves it's own post as well.
I now get to add on the: Where the heck will I be going after graduation/job search component to my life. My Bishop still can't say whether anything will be opening up, so while not released from the diocese, instead of being given permission to look around, I now seem to be being encouraged to "actively" look for something elsewhere. Had a little chat with the Bishop the other day so he could check in on where I was regarding placement. I said that I'd been waiting to get GOE results and get the sermon out of the way, but that I had been on the Church Deployment Office (CDO) website and got a rude awakening that not many assistant positions were posted. The general thinking seems to be that because those go through the Rector and don't require a search committee that people tend not to post those, so those openings are more word of mouth. So it seems I need to figure out what diocese I think I might want to go to, and then contact their Church Deployment Officer to find out if they have openings and are willing to talk. My Bishop said that if I think I know where I want to look to let him know because House of Bishops will be meeting in the next couple of weeks and he could try to talk to the Bishop(s) where I want to look, do a little networking.
Another rude awakening last night. I was telling someone recently that I don't want to be the Youth Group Director, I want to be a priest, a generalist, I want experience in a lot of different areas including preaching and celebrating the Eucharist. 1) I don't have experience in leading/organizing a youth group, although I did teach Sunday School for a year. 2) I don't know if that's where my gifts and calling lie. You tell me to figure out how to organize a youth group, and as much as I like children and youth, I feel myself groan inwardly... you ask me to go visit people in the hospital, assisted-living or nursing homes and that doesn't feel like an internal burden, it seems "easier", more natural. Anyway... I'm poking through the few Assistant positions that are listed on the CDO and what is the #1 or #2 responsibility they all list? Yep... they all want their assistant to create, organize, run, or do something with the Youth program at the parish. Urg.
In the last year or so I've discovered how much I love liturgy. I want to be involved in worship planning, a worship committee, etc. I want to officiate at marriages and baptize and help people explore spiritual disciplines, maybe learn about leading retreats or doing spiritual direction. I feel called to old and young and everyone in between. I'm not opposed to hanging with the youth, doing some teaching, maybe confirmation class, maybe go on a mission trip or something, that's fine. I don't think I'd want to be completely disconnected from the youth. I just don't want that to be the main/sole focus of my ministry.
Okay... enough of that for now.
A lot going on. Enjoying the semester and our classes and have managed to stay pretty much on top of assignments... ummmm yeah, finally in my *last* semester I can do it. Why now, I don't know, could be the combination of all kinds of things, but I'm not complaining at this point.
So February:
I taught a two-week class with my classmate the first two Wednesdays of the month, finally wrote my ember day letter to my Bishop, went home for diocesan convention the weekend of the 10th, received our GOE results on the 13th, officiated Evening Prayer and gave a homily on the 15th, had to turn in 4 papers I owed to profs to wrap up my incompletes from last semester in the first two weeks of the month so I worked on those and got them turned in, preached my Senior Sermon on Feb 22nd (which took time and energy to write), planned a baby shower for the 25th for a classmate with the help of another classmate, created a little baby-shower liturgy combining Noonday prayer with Blessing of a Pregnant Woman (seemed to go over well), ran a 1-hour BCP scavenger hunt for an acolyte festival earlier on the 25th, and had to help lead discussion about one of our readings in Theology on March 1st. All that including attending classes, workstudy and a few liturgy assignments.
More on some of these in later posts.
On the G front - we still haven't really talked about the other discussion we had. My month was nuts and we both had Senior sermons to get out of the way. Also, I was trying to figure out what I might say. Do I want to try and go there, or not? That probably deserves it's own post as well.
I now get to add on the: Where the heck will I be going after graduation/job search component to my life. My Bishop still can't say whether anything will be opening up, so while not released from the diocese, instead of being given permission to look around, I now seem to be being encouraged to "actively" look for something elsewhere. Had a little chat with the Bishop the other day so he could check in on where I was regarding placement. I said that I'd been waiting to get GOE results and get the sermon out of the way, but that I had been on the Church Deployment Office (CDO) website and got a rude awakening that not many assistant positions were posted. The general thinking seems to be that because those go through the Rector and don't require a search committee that people tend not to post those, so those openings are more word of mouth. So it seems I need to figure out what diocese I think I might want to go to, and then contact their Church Deployment Officer to find out if they have openings and are willing to talk. My Bishop said that if I think I know where I want to look to let him know because House of Bishops will be meeting in the next couple of weeks and he could try to talk to the Bishop(s) where I want to look, do a little networking.
Another rude awakening last night. I was telling someone recently that I don't want to be the Youth Group Director, I want to be a priest, a generalist, I want experience in a lot of different areas including preaching and celebrating the Eucharist. 1) I don't have experience in leading/organizing a youth group, although I did teach Sunday School for a year. 2) I don't know if that's where my gifts and calling lie. You tell me to figure out how to organize a youth group, and as much as I like children and youth, I feel myself groan inwardly... you ask me to go visit people in the hospital, assisted-living or nursing homes and that doesn't feel like an internal burden, it seems "easier", more natural. Anyway... I'm poking through the few Assistant positions that are listed on the CDO and what is the #1 or #2 responsibility they all list? Yep... they all want their assistant to create, organize, run, or do something with the Youth program at the parish. Urg.
In the last year or so I've discovered how much I love liturgy. I want to be involved in worship planning, a worship committee, etc. I want to officiate at marriages and baptize and help people explore spiritual disciplines, maybe learn about leading retreats or doing spiritual direction. I feel called to old and young and everyone in between. I'm not opposed to hanging with the youth, doing some teaching, maybe confirmation class, maybe go on a mission trip or something, that's fine. I don't think I'd want to be completely disconnected from the youth. I just don't want that to be the main/sole focus of my ministry.
Okay... enough of that for now.
Last Semester Reflections
Some reflections from approximately February 10th about being in the last semester.
It’s a bit surprising to find myself in my last semester of seminary and heading toward a new transition with our approaching graduation. Three years have gone by fast! I've started to sense a shift in our class. While we have been engaged by our new classes, the broader focus seems a little less on "here" and academics than in the past and more on the practice of ministry and the future, especially for those being talked to about placement and some who will be adding babies to the family in the next 6 months or less. Similar to when we began practicing services in liturgy class in the fall and it felt like we were ready and it was time, the idea of leaving seminary is both exciting and a bit scary, but as it draws nearer I think it will seem right, like it’s time to go.
It’s a bit surprising to find myself in my last semester of seminary and heading toward a new transition with our approaching graduation. Three years have gone by fast! I've started to sense a shift in our class. While we have been engaged by our new classes, the broader focus seems a little less on "here" and academics than in the past and more on the practice of ministry and the future, especially for those being talked to about placement and some who will be adding babies to the family in the next 6 months or less. Similar to when we began practicing services in liturgy class in the fall and it felt like we were ready and it was time, the idea of leaving seminary is both exciting and a bit scary, but as it draws nearer I think it will seem right, like it’s time to go.
GOE Results
I know you were holding your breath waiting for the General Ordination Exam (GOE) results. Okay, maybe not, but I was anxiously awaiting the envelope in the mail. We received them around February 13th.
A person's diocese would prefer that you get 3's or better in all areas, if you don't they will devise a way of doing further evaluation.
Grading Scale:
5 = an excellent response
4 = a good response
3 = a satisfactory response
2 = a problematic response, further evaluation is recommended
1 = an unsatisfactory response, diocesan re-examination is recommended.
My scores:
3 = Theology (open book, I ran out of time, expected a 2 or maybe a 1)
2 = History (open book, I really ran out of time on, expected a 2 or a 1, so 2 was not a surprise)
3 = Liturgy & Music - Had felt I did okay and covered what they needed me to.
4 = Contemp. Society (on Affluenza) - I felt really good about this answer.
4 = Holy Scriptures (kind of ran out of time, wasn't sure about this answer)
3 = Ethics (kind of ran out of time, felt good about the utilitarian argument, wasn't sure what they'd think of it over all)
3 = Theory & Practice of Ministry - I felt really good about this one, how sad is it that I was a little bent out of shape for a couple days that I didn't get a "4" on this answer?
Someone I know who's a reader said if you're kind of between a 2 and a 3 sometimes they'll give you grace and bump you up to a 3, but that's not the case when going from a 3 to a 4. That usually the readers have to feel you exceeded their expectations and kind of stepped it up a notch, so she said I should feel really good about the two 4's I received.
When I emailed my scores to R+ at my home parish (she's also on the COM), she said "Good!" and also in her opinion History will influence my ministry the least, so rest easy. Even though I could have done much better on this particular question, quite honestly History is probably my worst subject, so if it is supposed to be a "diagnostic", then it wasn't that far off. I suppose they could still ask me to do some additional reading or a rewrite or show them some papers or something, but so far I haven't heard anything along those lines from the COM or the Bishop. I never did go back and rewrite any of them as I had contemplated. At this point, unless I hear otherwise, I'm assuming they are okay with my answers and scores and don't want anything else.
So basically I was satisfied with the scores and relieved. Felt I could breathe a little easier. Was nice to have one more step completed.
A person's diocese would prefer that you get 3's or better in all areas, if you don't they will devise a way of doing further evaluation.
Grading Scale:
5 = an excellent response
4 = a good response
3 = a satisfactory response
2 = a problematic response, further evaluation is recommended
1 = an unsatisfactory response, diocesan re-examination is recommended.
My scores:
3 = Theology (open book, I ran out of time, expected a 2 or maybe a 1)
2 = History (open book, I really ran out of time on, expected a 2 or a 1, so 2 was not a surprise)
3 = Liturgy & Music - Had felt I did okay and covered what they needed me to.
4 = Contemp. Society (on Affluenza) - I felt really good about this answer.
4 = Holy Scriptures (kind of ran out of time, wasn't sure about this answer)
3 = Ethics (kind of ran out of time, felt good about the utilitarian argument, wasn't sure what they'd think of it over all)
3 = Theory & Practice of Ministry - I felt really good about this one, how sad is it that I was a little bent out of shape for a couple days that I didn't get a "4" on this answer?
Someone I know who's a reader said if you're kind of between a 2 and a 3 sometimes they'll give you grace and bump you up to a 3, but that's not the case when going from a 3 to a 4. That usually the readers have to feel you exceeded their expectations and kind of stepped it up a notch, so she said I should feel really good about the two 4's I received.
When I emailed my scores to R+ at my home parish (she's also on the COM), she said "Good!" and also in her opinion History will influence my ministry the least, so rest easy. Even though I could have done much better on this particular question, quite honestly History is probably my worst subject, so if it is supposed to be a "diagnostic", then it wasn't that far off. I suppose they could still ask me to do some additional reading or a rewrite or show them some papers or something, but so far I haven't heard anything along those lines from the COM or the Bishop. I never did go back and rewrite any of them as I had contemplated. At this point, unless I hear otherwise, I'm assuming they are okay with my answers and scores and don't want anything else.
So basically I was satisfied with the scores and relieved. Felt I could breathe a little easier. Was nice to have one more step completed.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Dream this a.m.
Well the whole "talk" with G must be rolling around in my subconscious or something (see yesterday's post). This morning just before my alarm started to go off I had a dream with him in it.
The two of us were somewhere alone and we seemed to be working on something (details are getting blurry now). It seemed like he was making some hints around becoming more intimate or taking things to another level, but I was trying to stay focused on the task at hand, and not entirely sure of how I felt so I was kind of playing it down and refusing to take the hint. Finally in the dream he said something like, "you know what, I'm just going to do it." And then he took the initiative, and leaned around to kiss me. I was a little surpised but decided not to fight it because maybe that was something that would finally help me sort things out.
In the dream the kiss was a little awkward, like you might imagine from 2 folks who hadn't made out with someone in a while, but my impression now is that I did not have the feeling like "nope" and want to pull away, and I don't even think I had a blank ho-hum non-reaction. But on the other hand I was not having that all revved up hormones in overdrive, can't get enough, eletricity/chemistry feeling either. It was more a feeling of curiosity and a recognition that perhaps with a little "practice" it could have possibilities.
Weird. Anway those are my impressions of the dream.
I was up late writing and pondering about an issue that has nothing to do with anything I need to be working on at the present moment *headshake* so only got about 5 to 6 hours of sleep.
Now I need to get a move on to see how one puts together a parochial report to send to their diocese and the national church at my field ed parish. Supposed to take communion to "S" later this afternoon when she gets back from the doctor's, but should call first to see if she's feeling up to it. Then tonight we have our Christian Ed committee meeting.
So somewho I need to fit some productive moments between those various things.
The two of us were somewhere alone and we seemed to be working on something (details are getting blurry now). It seemed like he was making some hints around becoming more intimate or taking things to another level, but I was trying to stay focused on the task at hand, and not entirely sure of how I felt so I was kind of playing it down and refusing to take the hint. Finally in the dream he said something like, "you know what, I'm just going to do it." And then he took the initiative, and leaned around to kiss me. I was a little surpised but decided not to fight it because maybe that was something that would finally help me sort things out.
In the dream the kiss was a little awkward, like you might imagine from 2 folks who hadn't made out with someone in a while, but my impression now is that I did not have the feeling like "nope" and want to pull away, and I don't even think I had a blank ho-hum non-reaction. But on the other hand I was not having that all revved up hormones in overdrive, can't get enough, eletricity/chemistry feeling either. It was more a feeling of curiosity and a recognition that perhaps with a little "practice" it could have possibilities.
Weird. Anway those are my impressions of the dream.
I was up late writing and pondering about an issue that has nothing to do with anything I need to be working on at the present moment *headshake* so only got about 5 to 6 hours of sleep.
Now I need to get a move on to see how one puts together a parochial report to send to their diocese and the national church at my field ed parish. Supposed to take communion to "S" later this afternoon when she gets back from the doctor's, but should call first to see if she's feeling up to it. Then tonight we have our Christian Ed committee meeting.
So somewho I need to fit some productive moments between those various things.
Jesus didn't exist?
So here's an interesting little news story I ran across on another online journal (from the San Francisco Gate, Friday January 27, 2006):
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/01/27/international/i042611S36.DTL&hw=atheist&sn=001&sc=1000
Apparently an atheist in Italy wants to bring criminal charges agains a priest for claiming that Jesus existed.
Well... then I guess I've picked the wrong degree and vocation to be working toward, now haven't I?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/01/27/international/i042611S36.DTL&hw=atheist&sn=001&sc=1000
Apparently an atheist in Italy wants to bring criminal charges agains a priest for claiming that Jesus existed.
Well... then I guess I've picked the wrong degree and vocation to be working toward, now haven't I?
Top Ten???
Oh my gosh - my other (http://bythesea.deardiary.net/) online diary is on the top ten on their homepage.
What???!!!
I just happened to go to the Home page because I was going to poke around for a couple diaries to read by genre and I noticed my diary was listed on the top ten list.
Holy Cow! I had to do a double-take. How did that happen?
I'm not sure I really want to be in the top ten, I think I kind of prefer being a little more anonymous, stealthy, incognito. I've never been in the top ten before so I'm sure I'll drop off soon.
I think I know what might have happened.
Saturday I ran across a couple of posts on an e-group by some folks in discernment about ordination, priesthood, etc. They were looking for book ideas and had some questions, etc. Something about that and some recent events lead me to decide to go look back at some entries when I was where they are now. I can pretty much tell you what it was like, it wasn't all that long ago, but there's something about reading the exact thoughts and words that you wrote.
I started that online diary for two reasons: 1) to work through my own process (as well as journal on other misc. stuff), and 2) to keep a record so that I could go back and remember what it was like when I encounter people going through it - and with half an idea to use those entries to write about it someday, maybe a book or something. I didn't know, I just knew I wanted to process stuff and it might be helpful to others if I could go back and look at what it was like for me, and maybe give them access to it.
So I went back looking for a few specific entries - like my very first post. Well once I started, I kind of got on a roll and ended up spending hours looking through a lot of entries. I had some ideas of specific months and approximate dates to look for relevant entries, but I still had to scroll through quite a few. I think viewing all those entries (and I copied and saved the specific url's the date, and the name of my entry into a Word doc for my future reference) resulted in showing up as "hits" to my diary.
So I think it looked like I was getting a lot of traffic, when really it was just me reviewing my life, my thoughts, etc.
It was actually pretty interesting and illuminating and I'm planning a post on what I learned in looking back at those entries, but I'm too tired right now.
Maybe in the next few days.
What???!!!
I just happened to go to the Home page because I was going to poke around for a couple diaries to read by genre and I noticed my diary was listed on the top ten list.
Holy Cow! I had to do a double-take. How did that happen?
I'm not sure I really want to be in the top ten, I think I kind of prefer being a little more anonymous, stealthy, incognito. I've never been in the top ten before so I'm sure I'll drop off soon.
I think I know what might have happened.
Saturday I ran across a couple of posts on an e-group by some folks in discernment about ordination, priesthood, etc. They were looking for book ideas and had some questions, etc. Something about that and some recent events lead me to decide to go look back at some entries when I was where they are now. I can pretty much tell you what it was like, it wasn't all that long ago, but there's something about reading the exact thoughts and words that you wrote.
I started that online diary for two reasons: 1) to work through my own process (as well as journal on other misc. stuff), and 2) to keep a record so that I could go back and remember what it was like when I encounter people going through it - and with half an idea to use those entries to write about it someday, maybe a book or something. I didn't know, I just knew I wanted to process stuff and it might be helpful to others if I could go back and look at what it was like for me, and maybe give them access to it.
So I went back looking for a few specific entries - like my very first post. Well once I started, I kind of got on a roll and ended up spending hours looking through a lot of entries. I had some ideas of specific months and approximate dates to look for relevant entries, but I still had to scroll through quite a few. I think viewing all those entries (and I copied and saved the specific url's the date, and the name of my entry into a Word doc for my future reference) resulted in showing up as "hits" to my diary.
So I think it looked like I was getting a lot of traffic, when really it was just me reviewing my life, my thoughts, etc.
It was actually pretty interesting and illuminating and I'm planning a post on what I learned in looking back at those entries, but I'm too tired right now.
Maybe in the next few days.
Dinner with friends
Nextdoor neighbor/classmate invited myself and R (another friend/classmate) over for dinner tonight. Her husband grilled steak and there was also roasted potatoes and grilled zucchini (sp?) and yellow squash kabobs, and Girl Scout cookies for desert.
It was a nice evening, chatting and laughing and catching up a bit. :)
It was a nice evening, chatting and laughing and catching up a bit. :)
Monday, January 30, 2006
Had a talk with "G"
I've mentioned my friend/classmate "G" and that since we began seminary several classmates have keep mentioning the fact that they think the two of us ought to date, would make a good pairing, etc. I have been on the fence because in some ways I see why they might say that, and in other ways I think they don't know us as well as they think they do... that they are just saying that because we are both single, the same age, have a couple things in common they have identified and have observed we get along well enough to be friends. I think they don't want to see us alone, so the conclusion... well then why not put them together?
I didn't know for sure, but suspected that G had probably gotten some similar comments. We hadn't talked about this before.
Last night during a conversation about some things that have come up for each recently and issues we've wrestled with, the conversation turned more generally to the topic of dating - i.e. how to approach it as a seminarian/priest, what kind of age ranges seem appropriate at our ages, are we truly called to marriage when others have asked each of us before about the possibility of being a "religious" (i.e. a brother or sister who lives in community with an order and commits to a single life and a vow of chastity), how would marriage and family affect ability to minister and to live out a call - especially for “G” who is interested in possible missionary work - which is easier to do (pick up and go to another country) when you are single.
We also talked about the fishbowl nature of living in community at seminary and the affect and pressure that can have if a person is starting to see someone (whether from within our outside the community), because people are observant so tend to know your business, and others we've watched navigate the dating process while in the fishbowl and our occasional response to not even want to go there.
At some point around discussion of the fishbowl and others being in your business it seemed the right time to bring up the topic that others have been trying to play matchmaker for me and trying to connect the two of us.
So, we had a good chat. It was good to finally get it out there. I'd been thinking since the summer about doing it. It seems that some have said it to G too...he thinks not as many people or as often, but admits sometimes he's oblivious to things like that. I admitted I had worried I may have sent mixed signals because while being friends and preoccupied with school and other stuff, when people would say things like that I would try to be somewhat open to the idea and figure out what they might be seeing. He also said that he'd thought about the possibility of us dating before.
We didn't come to any conclusions. We can see why some might put us together, but also think they just don't want us to be alone. There are similarities or enough of a connection that we can have long talks, but clearly differences. We both would ideally like a permanent relationship to start out of friendship (which we have) but realize that if you try taking a friendship (either this one or another) to another level you risk losing the friendship if it doesn't work out, and that may be a high price and one or both may decide they value the friendship more and don't want to risk it.
We've decided that the next time someone is so bold as to try to play matchmaker with one of us, that they deserve more questioning about why they are saying that... is there something they are seeing?
I think where it is at right now is we are both aware of the possibility of us dating and neither is completely opposed to the idea, but because of various things like the fishbowl and being from different dioceses, and a few other things on our plates right now... there didn't seem a need to rush. He's going on a personal retreat for a few days, and I've got a class to teach Wednesday night, then we have the semester about to start and we both give our Senior Sermons in February.
So who knows... we may decide we want to try and take it somewhere, but regardless I think our friendship is stronger for having the conversation and now I don't have the elephant in the room following me around. :) I think it will be good to be free of it during our last semester.
I didn't know for sure, but suspected that G had probably gotten some similar comments. We hadn't talked about this before.
Last night during a conversation about some things that have come up for each recently and issues we've wrestled with, the conversation turned more generally to the topic of dating - i.e. how to approach it as a seminarian/priest, what kind of age ranges seem appropriate at our ages, are we truly called to marriage when others have asked each of us before about the possibility of being a "religious" (i.e. a brother or sister who lives in community with an order and commits to a single life and a vow of chastity), how would marriage and family affect ability to minister and to live out a call - especially for “G” who is interested in possible missionary work - which is easier to do (pick up and go to another country) when you are single.
We also talked about the fishbowl nature of living in community at seminary and the affect and pressure that can have if a person is starting to see someone (whether from within our outside the community), because people are observant so tend to know your business, and others we've watched navigate the dating process while in the fishbowl and our occasional response to not even want to go there.
At some point around discussion of the fishbowl and others being in your business it seemed the right time to bring up the topic that others have been trying to play matchmaker for me and trying to connect the two of us.
So, we had a good chat. It was good to finally get it out there. I'd been thinking since the summer about doing it. It seems that some have said it to G too...he thinks not as many people or as often, but admits sometimes he's oblivious to things like that. I admitted I had worried I may have sent mixed signals because while being friends and preoccupied with school and other stuff, when people would say things like that I would try to be somewhat open to the idea and figure out what they might be seeing. He also said that he'd thought about the possibility of us dating before.
We didn't come to any conclusions. We can see why some might put us together, but also think they just don't want us to be alone. There are similarities or enough of a connection that we can have long talks, but clearly differences. We both would ideally like a permanent relationship to start out of friendship (which we have) but realize that if you try taking a friendship (either this one or another) to another level you risk losing the friendship if it doesn't work out, and that may be a high price and one or both may decide they value the friendship more and don't want to risk it.
We've decided that the next time someone is so bold as to try to play matchmaker with one of us, that they deserve more questioning about why they are saying that... is there something they are seeing?
I think where it is at right now is we are both aware of the possibility of us dating and neither is completely opposed to the idea, but because of various things like the fishbowl and being from different dioceses, and a few other things on our plates right now... there didn't seem a need to rush. He's going on a personal retreat for a few days, and I've got a class to teach Wednesday night, then we have the semester about to start and we both give our Senior Sermons in February.
So who knows... we may decide we want to try and take it somewhere, but regardless I think our friendship is stronger for having the conversation and now I don't have the elephant in the room following me around. :) I think it will be good to be free of it during our last semester.
Recent struggles
Thoughts and Reflections on Being a Couch Potato – and a follow up.
January 25 2006:
Became hermitty/pajama person the last few days and feeling, "what the hell?"
Saturday went to the green living show and lunch with a friend. R called about to do something difficult and wondered if I would be around for support, so comforted her when she came by. Then neighbor/classmate P wanted to get out of the house so the 3 of us went out to eat. So it leaves me wondering how I can go from that to Sunday, Monday & Tuesday holed up in my house reading 1,522 pages of Harry Potter, to the exclusion of just about everything else. So it leave me with the feeling of, "what the hell?"
Sunday, Missed Church... wasn't feeling well... but same things didn't stop me Saturday. So felt guilty about missing Church, Annual Meeting and service with some area churches. Haven't contacted M+ because I felt bad and didn't know what to say. We meet with him today. I feel like skipping and hiding because of Sunday and because I also haven't visited the shut-in I was supposed to and haven't worked on my Adult Ed class (beyond some resources I found several weeks ago).
I realized the end of the week I had 2 weeks left until the semester starts. I remember feeling anxious like that wasn't enough time, I hadn't done all the things I wanted/needed to do, how would I get them all done? I think I was overwhelmed by lack of time, and felt guilty about undone/skipped stuff, so escaped by reading.
Often when I read I get so engaged by a story I want to finish it (obsessive? ADD hyperfocus?), so I will spend free time and stay up late trying to finish a book. I'd re-read book 4 the last week planning to see the movie and had books 5 and 6 on hand, which are long. Since there's no book 7 yet and I've had my fill of fun reading, I think I'm free of the reading pit for now, don't know about avoiding via TV or internet.
I think I'm feeling more motivated and less sluggish/couch potato-ey today, although nothing has come of that yet except trying to call my shut-in. I was also thinking of different things to say in my Ember Day Letter, but haven't written anything.
Kind of needed to vent.
January 26, 2005 – Follow up to Vent - Progress?
Maybe should have waited to vent, rest of day yesterday went okay. But maybe it helped me get it out and let go?
Meeting with M+ went fine (I went, didn't hide!). I'd arranged to visit S (a shut-in) after the mtg, and could say how she sounded. Per usual we had good discussion in our mtg. He also asked about the Adult Ed class. I told him my thoughts and had a couple questions so he had some ideas. I realized I'm teaching in a week, so I'd better figure out what I'm planning to do with the folks.
Had a good visit with S, she struggles with depression and her mood tends to shift a lot. Had burgers and fries for dinner with neighbor/friend and chatted with another student I ran into when I took out the trash & litterbox ( housework! ). Up late, cause I took my med late yesterday? Slept in today. So far did some work on the Adult Ed class (found where Lord’s Prayer falls in Gospels & Greek translation, marked some resources with stickies, reviewed some ideas/notes), and sent field ed.-related emails.
Haven't worked on the letter yet, but I'm planning to. Besides letter and Adult Ed class, other big things on to do list: housework, a couple papers for incompletes, still would like to rewrite 2 GOEs, get the CPE thing settled, start working on Senior Sermon that is in about a month.
January 25 2006:
Became hermitty/pajama person the last few days and feeling, "what the hell?"
Saturday went to the green living show and lunch with a friend. R called about to do something difficult and wondered if I would be around for support, so comforted her when she came by. Then neighbor/classmate P wanted to get out of the house so the 3 of us went out to eat. So it leaves me wondering how I can go from that to Sunday, Monday & Tuesday holed up in my house reading 1,522 pages of Harry Potter, to the exclusion of just about everything else. So it leave me with the feeling of, "what the hell?"
Sunday, Missed Church... wasn't feeling well... but same things didn't stop me Saturday. So felt guilty about missing Church, Annual Meeting and service with some area churches. Haven't contacted M+ because I felt bad and didn't know what to say. We meet with him today. I feel like skipping and hiding because of Sunday and because I also haven't visited the shut-in I was supposed to and haven't worked on my Adult Ed class (beyond some resources I found several weeks ago).
I realized the end of the week I had 2 weeks left until the semester starts. I remember feeling anxious like that wasn't enough time, I hadn't done all the things I wanted/needed to do, how would I get them all done? I think I was overwhelmed by lack of time, and felt guilty about undone/skipped stuff, so escaped by reading.
Often when I read I get so engaged by a story I want to finish it (obsessive? ADD hyperfocus?), so I will spend free time and stay up late trying to finish a book. I'd re-read book 4 the last week planning to see the movie and had books 5 and 6 on hand, which are long. Since there's no book 7 yet and I've had my fill of fun reading, I think I'm free of the reading pit for now, don't know about avoiding via TV or internet.
I think I'm feeling more motivated and less sluggish/couch potato-ey today, although nothing has come of that yet except trying to call my shut-in. I was also thinking of different things to say in my Ember Day Letter, but haven't written anything.
Kind of needed to vent.
January 26, 2005 – Follow up to Vent - Progress?
Maybe should have waited to vent, rest of day yesterday went okay. But maybe it helped me get it out and let go?
Meeting with M+ went fine (I went, didn't hide!). I'd arranged to visit S (a shut-in) after the mtg, and could say how she sounded. Per usual we had good discussion in our mtg. He also asked about the Adult Ed class. I told him my thoughts and had a couple questions so he had some ideas. I realized I'm teaching in a week, so I'd better figure out what I'm planning to do with the folks.
Had a good visit with S, she struggles with depression and her mood tends to shift a lot. Had burgers and fries for dinner with neighbor/friend and chatted with another student I ran into when I took out the trash & litterbox ( housework! ). Up late, cause I took my med late yesterday? Slept in today. So far did some work on the Adult Ed class (found where Lord’s Prayer falls in Gospels & Greek translation, marked some resources with stickies, reviewed some ideas/notes), and sent field ed.-related emails.
Haven't worked on the letter yet, but I'm planning to. Besides letter and Adult Ed class, other big things on to do list: housework, a couple papers for incompletes, still would like to rewrite 2 GOEs, get the CPE thing settled, start working on Senior Sermon that is in about a month.
Jan 19th appt
Besides comments Dr. H. made about the photos and organizing my space to take GOEs, I wanted to jot down some other things that happened at our last appt. Thankfully I took a few notes afterward or I wouldn't remember much now.
Dr. H. mentioned a subset of ADD that tends to have some obsessive traits that leads to being detail-oriented and can especially interfere with things like writing papers and result in the struggles I've had.
Dr. H. drew a graph for me about productivity and anxiety/praise/obsessiveness, whatever and how if you have too much or too little productivity goes down, just the right amount leads to peak productivity. Dr. said that when I'm blocked I tend to have a lot of ideas etc. and don't know what to do with them which would seem to indicate too much anxiety or obsessiveness (yeah... you think?) and so need to figure out a way to lessen the anxiety, to circumvent it so I can be more productive. Dang... should have been looking at that little graph last week (more on that in a minute). If I'm thinking too much then I'm on the "too much" side and need to scale back.
Talked some about the letter I still haven't finished to my Bishop and some strategies for how to get to work on it, and figure out what to put in and what to leave out, and ways to phrase things. Suggested I could keep an original unedited version to go over together in a session. Also has suggested running a rough draft past him or a close friend or advisor, etc. Discussed the possibility that I may be trying to do too much with just one letter, include too much. Maybe need to take a step back and think what are the basic or most essential things that need to go in. then other info can be done in a later letter or via email or phone call or talk in person.
Talked about how I've been taking some down time, doing some things with friends, going to the gym, etc. Dr. H. said not to feel guilty about that and paying attention to other areas in my life. Said that it's all self-care. To think of it as a circle. If you place all your attention in one area or neglect an area then you're unbalanced and that's not good. Said picture a big circle with a hole missing. So not to feel guilty because I can't minister to others if I'm not taking care of my health. I talked about how I'd intended to set up disciplines and achieve some functional balance while in seminary so it would carry over when I got tossed out into the world and ministry, but it's been harder to achieve than I thought it would. Dr. H. said to keep working on it for sure, but that he thinks that it may get a little easier once I'm out of school. Sure I may not have as regular of a schedule as normal 8 to 5 jobs, but he seemed to think it still might be a little easier to juggle. I don't know... we'll see. In any event, I keep plugging away at it.
Talked about some other things that have come up for me lately: the fact that during my time here many classmates have gotten married or had children, and some are now starting to hear about possible placement, whereas I am still single, dateless, have no children, and have no idea where I might go post graduation. Dr. H. asked if I was feeling "behind." I said not so much behind, but not being so focused on school and taking some down time had allowed me to open up more and pay attention to other areas of my life and so I became more aware of these other things kind of lurking out there. Dr. H. was saying that since I look a good bit younger than my age that I could probably date a wide range of ages if I chose, also said that I've been doing a lot of good work and I'm more likely to meet someone (and be ready to meet someone) as I pay attention to and continue to achieve more balance - basically I'll be healtier etc.
At one point when talking about being detailed oriented and having lots of ideas I was talking about the GOE Bible question and how I had so much info and had to work hard to narrow it down. He mentioned once again my complex thinking and how smart I am. I finally asked, why do you say that? He said that it's just the way I describe what I was thinking and trying to write and the process of it. He said that when you're in that place it's easy to think others will be looking at things or approaching them with the same level of detail or complexity when they may not be. This kind of ties into my work on trying to not get carried away with research and knowing with something is "enough", and checking with peers about what they think is required by an assignment to help me keep from working on it more and making it harder than it needs to be.
Dr. H. mentioned a subset of ADD that tends to have some obsessive traits that leads to being detail-oriented and can especially interfere with things like writing papers and result in the struggles I've had.
Dr. H. drew a graph for me about productivity and anxiety/praise/obsessiveness, whatever and how if you have too much or too little productivity goes down, just the right amount leads to peak productivity. Dr. said that when I'm blocked I tend to have a lot of ideas etc. and don't know what to do with them which would seem to indicate too much anxiety or obsessiveness (yeah... you think?) and so need to figure out a way to lessen the anxiety, to circumvent it so I can be more productive. Dang... should have been looking at that little graph last week (more on that in a minute). If I'm thinking too much then I'm on the "too much" side and need to scale back.
Talked some about the letter I still haven't finished to my Bishop and some strategies for how to get to work on it, and figure out what to put in and what to leave out, and ways to phrase things. Suggested I could keep an original unedited version to go over together in a session. Also has suggested running a rough draft past him or a close friend or advisor, etc. Discussed the possibility that I may be trying to do too much with just one letter, include too much. Maybe need to take a step back and think what are the basic or most essential things that need to go in. then other info can be done in a later letter or via email or phone call or talk in person.
Talked about how I've been taking some down time, doing some things with friends, going to the gym, etc. Dr. H. said not to feel guilty about that and paying attention to other areas in my life. Said that it's all self-care. To think of it as a circle. If you place all your attention in one area or neglect an area then you're unbalanced and that's not good. Said picture a big circle with a hole missing. So not to feel guilty because I can't minister to others if I'm not taking care of my health. I talked about how I'd intended to set up disciplines and achieve some functional balance while in seminary so it would carry over when I got tossed out into the world and ministry, but it's been harder to achieve than I thought it would. Dr. H. said to keep working on it for sure, but that he thinks that it may get a little easier once I'm out of school. Sure I may not have as regular of a schedule as normal 8 to 5 jobs, but he seemed to think it still might be a little easier to juggle. I don't know... we'll see. In any event, I keep plugging away at it.
Talked about some other things that have come up for me lately: the fact that during my time here many classmates have gotten married or had children, and some are now starting to hear about possible placement, whereas I am still single, dateless, have no children, and have no idea where I might go post graduation. Dr. H. asked if I was feeling "behind." I said not so much behind, but not being so focused on school and taking some down time had allowed me to open up more and pay attention to other areas of my life and so I became more aware of these other things kind of lurking out there. Dr. H. was saying that since I look a good bit younger than my age that I could probably date a wide range of ages if I chose, also said that I've been doing a lot of good work and I'm more likely to meet someone (and be ready to meet someone) as I pay attention to and continue to achieve more balance - basically I'll be healtier etc.
At one point when talking about being detailed oriented and having lots of ideas I was talking about the GOE Bible question and how I had so much info and had to work hard to narrow it down. He mentioned once again my complex thinking and how smart I am. I finally asked, why do you say that? He said that it's just the way I describe what I was thinking and trying to write and the process of it. He said that when you're in that place it's easy to think others will be looking at things or approaching them with the same level of detail or complexity when they may not be. This kind of ties into my work on trying to not get carried away with research and knowing with something is "enough", and checking with peers about what they think is required by an assignment to help me keep from working on it more and making it harder than it needs to be.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Comments on photos
I only have a minute, I'm going to a green living expo thingy with a friend who called an hour ago, siad they give you do-dads to help remember their products, like trick-or-treating for adults. Okay, I had nothing on my agenda for today, I'm game. :)
I went to see Dr. H. on Thursday (and medical Dr. too). I'll have to write more about these appointments later, but wanted to write about one thing now.
Dr. H. started our appt. by saying that he had been to my photo album of GOE pictures (I'd sent him an invite). He liked the photos. He said he was impressed when he saw them. His first thought was it didn't look so much ADHD as someone obsessive (later clarified that most folks can't make it through a demanding Grad School program without having some obsessive traits). But then he said, actually it looks like someone who is disorganized really trying to be in control of the environment.
I said, exactly! That was the plan. I didn't want anything to get in the way and I was trying to avoid any pitfalls.
He said that actually I'd thought about most everything (ibuprofen, snacks, etc.) and I should load it on a CD or somehow pass the advice onto other students who have to take GOEs in the future. Heh! Then I said that actually my Rector at my home parish had responded to the photo album by writing back that I was "creative" and I wasn't exactly sure what she was getting at, and a friend of mine had also responded by saying something like "how did you think of all those things, did others tell you what you'd need, I don't know if I would have thought of all those things."
I think part of it was my own trying to anticipate what I might want/need what might help me avoid any problems, but also hearing other Seniors prepare the last two years and reading some suggestions on various seminary websites. It all kind of globbed together and that's what I ended up with.
Better run... green-living expo and friend are waiting!
More later.
I went to see Dr. H. on Thursday (and medical Dr. too). I'll have to write more about these appointments later, but wanted to write about one thing now.
Dr. H. started our appt. by saying that he had been to my photo album of GOE pictures (I'd sent him an invite). He liked the photos. He said he was impressed when he saw them. His first thought was it didn't look so much ADHD as someone obsessive (later clarified that most folks can't make it through a demanding Grad School program without having some obsessive traits). But then he said, actually it looks like someone who is disorganized really trying to be in control of the environment.
I said, exactly! That was the plan. I didn't want anything to get in the way and I was trying to avoid any pitfalls.
He said that actually I'd thought about most everything (ibuprofen, snacks, etc.) and I should load it on a CD or somehow pass the advice onto other students who have to take GOEs in the future. Heh! Then I said that actually my Rector at my home parish had responded to the photo album by writing back that I was "creative" and I wasn't exactly sure what she was getting at, and a friend of mine had also responded by saying something like "how did you think of all those things, did others tell you what you'd need, I don't know if I would have thought of all those things."
I think part of it was my own trying to anticipate what I might want/need what might help me avoid any problems, but also hearing other Seniors prepare the last two years and reading some suggestions on various seminary websites. It all kind of globbed together and that's what I ended up with.
Better run... green-living expo and friend are waiting!
More later.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Celebrating w/ Fragrance
I just remembered another thing I've done this week to "celebrate". I went to the mall armed with some Christmas money. My goal was to buy some of my favorite vanilla perfume from Victoria Secret since they were having a sale.
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=SH-184919&page=1&cgname=OSFRGWOMZZZ&rfnbr=2543&pn=false
On the way there I passed The Body Shop. Well of course I had to go in. :)
I was drawn to a display where you can mix and match fragrances to come up with the kind of scent you want. Coooool!
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/sub_category.jsp?cm_re=default-_-Navigation-_-Fragrance-Invent_Your_Scent&categoryId=cat300003
I was good. I didn't do the impulse buy. I went to Victoria's Secret and bought just the one bottle of Vanilla Lace perfume (not on sale that way, needed to buy 3 for the special price, but I wanted to reserve money in case I decided to buy at The Body Shop).
So then I went back and smelled them again.
Yep... still liked the three I'd liked before, by themselves and also mixed together. Darn it. Wasn't planning to spend that much on fragrance. But I thought... hey. I've been in a scent rut for a long time. Maybe it's a good thing to branch out and try something new. Maybe it's a good sign that I'm wanting to change something as personal as the scent of fragrance that I'm willing to wear and have associated with me.
Of course I will admit that these scents aren't drastically far afield from my norm. I tend to prefer vanilla or something fruity - nothing WAY musky or flowery.
So one that I bought is a mixture of Vanilla, Chocolate, and Jasmine... oh I can remember the smell of the night-blooming jasmine in the yard of a grandmotherly neighbor as we played outside on summer nights as children.
So... I bought Amorito
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160508
Aztique (which is sweet, fruity and a bit flowery):
Fragrance Notes - Top: Aqua Leaf Accord, Bosc Pear Accord, White Peach, Banana, Lime Peel Heart: Cyclamen, Rose, Lily of the Valley Bottom: Sandalwood, Amber, Blonde Woods, Musk.
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160498
And Citrella (which smells lemony/citrus-y):
Fragrance Notes - Top: Pink Grapefruit, Kumquat, Orangey, Cranberry Heart: Gardenia, Jasmine, Pink Freesia.
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160496
At first I felt a bit guilty and considered taking something back for a refund, since I'm poor and all. But my sister said that she thought I should keep it. It was Christmas money to buy something for myself, it won't collect dust, I will use it, and it should last a while. Okay... since I really liked them, it wasn't too hard for her to twist my arm and convince me to keep them. :)
So I've had fun smelling a bit different the last couple days. Mmmm!
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=SH-184919&page=1&cgname=OSFRGWOMZZZ&rfnbr=2543&pn=false
On the way there I passed The Body Shop. Well of course I had to go in. :)
I was drawn to a display where you can mix and match fragrances to come up with the kind of scent you want. Coooool!
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/sub_category.jsp?cm_re=default-_-Navigation-_-Fragrance-Invent_Your_Scent&categoryId=cat300003
I was good. I didn't do the impulse buy. I went to Victoria's Secret and bought just the one bottle of Vanilla Lace perfume (not on sale that way, needed to buy 3 for the special price, but I wanted to reserve money in case I decided to buy at The Body Shop).
So then I went back and smelled them again.
Yep... still liked the three I'd liked before, by themselves and also mixed together. Darn it. Wasn't planning to spend that much on fragrance. But I thought... hey. I've been in a scent rut for a long time. Maybe it's a good thing to branch out and try something new. Maybe it's a good sign that I'm wanting to change something as personal as the scent of fragrance that I'm willing to wear and have associated with me.
Of course I will admit that these scents aren't drastically far afield from my norm. I tend to prefer vanilla or something fruity - nothing WAY musky or flowery.
So one that I bought is a mixture of Vanilla, Chocolate, and Jasmine... oh I can remember the smell of the night-blooming jasmine in the yard of a grandmotherly neighbor as we played outside on summer nights as children.
So... I bought Amorito
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160508
Aztique (which is sweet, fruity and a bit flowery):
Fragrance Notes - Top: Aqua Leaf Accord, Bosc Pear Accord, White Peach, Banana, Lime Peel Heart: Cyclamen, Rose, Lily of the Valley Bottom: Sandalwood, Amber, Blonde Woods, Musk.
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160498
And Citrella (which smells lemony/citrus-y):
Fragrance Notes - Top: Pink Grapefruit, Kumquat, Orangey, Cranberry Heart: Gardenia, Jasmine, Pink Freesia.
http://www.thebodyshop.com/bodyshop/browse/product_detail.jsp?productId=prod160496
At first I felt a bit guilty and considered taking something back for a refund, since I'm poor and all. But my sister said that she thought I should keep it. It was Christmas money to buy something for myself, it won't collect dust, I will use it, and it should last a while. Okay... since I really liked them, it wasn't too hard for her to twist my arm and convince me to keep them. :)
So I've had fun smelling a bit different the last couple days. Mmmm!
Spiritual housecleaning
Here's a great post I ran across on Hazelnut Reflection's blog. It's a meditation about Spiritual Housecleaning using some ideas from the Flylady as a jumping off point. I thought it was brilliant. :)
I tried to insert a live link, but for some reason it didn't pop in, so I'm also including it typed out. Sorry you'll probably have to copy and paste.
This should link to the post and the comments:
http://hazelnutreflections.blogspot.com/2006/01/little-spiritual-housecleaning.html#comments
This should link to the blog, the post is January 17, 2006
http://hazelnutreflections.blogspot.com/
I tried to insert a live link, but for some reason it didn't pop in, so I'm also including it typed out. Sorry you'll probably have to copy and paste.
This should link to the post and the comments:
http://hazelnutreflections.blogspot.com/2006/01/little-spiritual-housecleaning.html#comments
This should link to the blog, the post is January 17, 2006
http://hazelnutreflections.blogspot.com/
Exercise! Woo Hoo
So... since I've had more free time, and since I was hoping the endorphins and other positive results from exercise would put me in a better mood and help me get more done if I was feeling energized and happy, and since I felt bad that the month fee I've paid the last couple months has basically gone to waste...
I've mangaged to get out and get a little exercise and get to the Gym lately. Woo Hoo. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm hoping that if I can get used to going now over the break, by the time the semester starts in a few weeks it will be more of a habit that I can keep up. I'll be used to going, and like going, etc. so it will be easier to make it a priority and fit it into my crazy schedule. That's the plan and the hope anyway.
So here's what I've been up to:
Sat. 12/31/05 - walking on the path by the river with R.
Sat. 01/07/06 - 30 min treadmill + 2 min cooldown
Tue. 01/10/06 - 35 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (1.97 miles in 40 min)
Wed. 01/11/06 - 35 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (2.07 miles in 40 min)
Thu. 01/12/06 - 10 min elliptical, 25 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (1.55 mi)
Fri. 01/13/06 - 30 min recumbent bike + 5 min cooldown (6.64 mi)
and 5 min elliptical. Walking by river with K in p.m.
Sat. 01/14/06 - 20 min elliptical, 21.5 min treadmill,
and 20 min pool w/kickboard etc., then sat in jacuzzi :)
Mon. 01/16/06 - 40 min elliptical
Wed. 01/18/06 - 20 min elliptical and 20 min treadmill + 4 min cooldown
I hope I can keep this up. Trying to be careful and smart about it so I don't injure myself or get sick and then have to spend a lot of days off and get out of the habit I've started to build.
Going to try and bring in some weights soon, maybe attend the kickbox or step class some day soon too.
Met with a trainer today (1/18/06) - he figured out a real target heartrate (145-155 for approx 65%) for me based on my age, and my resting pulse - so now I'll have a better idea of where to hit when I'm working out.
I've mangaged to get out and get a little exercise and get to the Gym lately. Woo Hoo. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm hoping that if I can get used to going now over the break, by the time the semester starts in a few weeks it will be more of a habit that I can keep up. I'll be used to going, and like going, etc. so it will be easier to make it a priority and fit it into my crazy schedule. That's the plan and the hope anyway.
So here's what I've been up to:
Sat. 12/31/05 - walking on the path by the river with R.
Sat. 01/07/06 - 30 min treadmill + 2 min cooldown
Tue. 01/10/06 - 35 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (1.97 miles in 40 min)
Wed. 01/11/06 - 35 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (2.07 miles in 40 min)
Thu. 01/12/06 - 10 min elliptical, 25 min treadmill + 5 min cooldown (1.55 mi)
Fri. 01/13/06 - 30 min recumbent bike + 5 min cooldown (6.64 mi)
and 5 min elliptical. Walking by river with K in p.m.
Sat. 01/14/06 - 20 min elliptical, 21.5 min treadmill,
and 20 min pool w/kickboard etc., then sat in jacuzzi :)
Mon. 01/16/06 - 40 min elliptical
Wed. 01/18/06 - 20 min elliptical and 20 min treadmill + 4 min cooldown
I hope I can keep this up. Trying to be careful and smart about it so I don't injure myself or get sick and then have to spend a lot of days off and get out of the habit I've started to build.
Going to try and bring in some weights soon, maybe attend the kickbox or step class some day soon too.
Met with a trainer today (1/18/06) - he figured out a real target heartrate (145-155 for approx 65%) for me based on my age, and my resting pulse - so now I'll have a better idea of where to hit when I'm working out.
Celebrating and Relaxing
Since the holidays and GOEs are past I've had more free time, and will continue to have some for another couple of weeks. The problem is that with so much unstructured time it can just slip away from me, I lose track of time/days and then don't get much done.
I have been getting some stuff done on my "to-do" list though. I've also tried to make some time for fun, and have tried to catch up on some sleep and relax (watching some movies and TV and reading), and paying attention to my health (have been to the gym - more on that in another post).
So besides going to the movies last Thursday with R, other things I've done to get out and have some fun and socialize are:
Friday - went walking on the path along the river with neighbor/classmate/friend and then went to a little restaurant we both like for some food.
Monday - called G after I got back from the gym. I was wound up and hungry, did he want to go get something to eat? So we went to this soup and salad place, used an Entertainment book coupon he had. So that was fun.
Last night - returned key to 2 classmates and caught up with them a little bit. Another classmate had been watching their kitties (who I've watched before) and had to be away for a couple days unexpectedly and asked if I could check both their cats and his cats. I had also been watching a downstairs neighbor's cats over the weekend. Just call me the cat lady. Heh! :) But having two of my own, I know what it's like when you need to leave and need someone to check in on them.
I have been getting some stuff done on my "to-do" list though. I've also tried to make some time for fun, and have tried to catch up on some sleep and relax (watching some movies and TV and reading), and paying attention to my health (have been to the gym - more on that in another post).
So besides going to the movies last Thursday with R, other things I've done to get out and have some fun and socialize are:
Friday - went walking on the path along the river with neighbor/classmate/friend and then went to a little restaurant we both like for some food.
Monday - called G after I got back from the gym. I was wound up and hungry, did he want to go get something to eat? So we went to this soup and salad place, used an Entertainment book coupon he had. So that was fun.
Last night - returned key to 2 classmates and caught up with them a little bit. Another classmate had been watching their kitties (who I've watched before) and had to be away for a couple days unexpectedly and asked if I could check both their cats and his cats. I had also been watching a downstairs neighbor's cats over the weekend. Just call me the cat lady. Heh! :) But having two of my own, I know what it's like when you need to leave and need someone to check in on them.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Weird Fun
A strange trivia game thingy, just for fun. Apparently I've been busy... Heh!
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Bythesea!
- Bythesea will always turn right when leaving a cave.
- Early thermometers were filled with bythesea instead of mercury!
- If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about bythesea.
- The first domain name ever registered was bythesea.com.
- The international dialling code for bythesea is 672!
- The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of bythesea is blue!
- Bythesea never said 'Play it again, Sam'!
- If you toss bythesea 10000 times, she will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because her head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
- India tested its first nuclear bythesea in 1974.
- Bythesea is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons!
More quiz fun re: heresies
Another Quiz for fun.
Apparently I'm not a heretic according to to the council of Chalcedon - 100% compliant (by this little quiz anyway). I felt some of the questions, since they are written to be short, were a bit ambiguous, I could read them a couple different ways. If more explicit I might have answered a couple differently.
A fun little distraction anyway. I have no idea how I ended up with points under Gnosticism. Heh! Oh well. Interesting to take this after having to write about the time period just before it and differing beliefs at the time. I don't know why my table seems to appear all scrunched, oh well.
Apparently I'm not a heretic according to to the council of Chalcedon - 100% compliant (by this little quiz anyway). I felt some of the questions, since they are written to be short, were a bit ambiguous, I could read them a couple different ways. If more explicit I might have answered a couple differently.
A fun little distraction anyway. I have no idea how I ended up with points under Gnosticism. Heh! Oh well. Interesting to take this after having to write about the time period just before it and differing beliefs at the time. I don't know why my table seems to appear all scrunched, oh well.
You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451.
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Backdating GOE posts
I've entered a lot of posts today from over the break and through the General Ordination Exam (GOE) testing experience that I've backdated to particular days. I apologize if you're a regular reader and have seen a ton of new posts go up today.
I've posted them all today and backdated them for two reasons:
1) I was both lazy and busy and hadn't posted in a while but had various emails/reflections to track what I was up to, feeling, experiencing, etc., so I'm posting in the order I have them.
2) I thought it best to wait a bit until our papers should be in the GOE readers' hands, etc. before I started publicly posting about the GOEs and my thoughts and reflections on them.
I've posted them all today and backdated them for two reasons:
1) I was both lazy and busy and hadn't posted in a while but had various emails/reflections to track what I was up to, feeling, experiencing, etc., so I'm posting in the order I have them.
2) I thought it best to wait a bit until our papers should be in the GOE readers' hands, etc. before I started publicly posting about the GOEs and my thoughts and reflections on them.
Friday, January 13, 2006
GOE Photos
What it looks like when I'm taking General Ordination Exams (GOEs):
Computer Set-up Overview
Various scattered books on the floor.
A morning question in progress...
A counter with snacks etc., including vitamins, ibuprofen, caffeine & protein.
My personal labyrinth, came in handy for a couple prayer breaks.
Computer Set-up Overview
Various scattered books on the floor.
A morning question in progress...
A counter with snacks etc., including vitamins, ibuprofen, caffeine & protein.
My personal labyrinth, came in handy for a couple prayer breaks.
More GOE photos
A couple more photos:
Figuring out what the question is asking for...
A shelf designated for items of personal/spiritual significance to remind me of my call and those who support me in pursuing it.
Bible, Question, Hymnals and etc. on the desk.
Misc. books and folders on the floor.
Figuring out what the question is asking for...
A shelf designated for items of personal/spiritual significance to remind me of my call and those who support me in pursuing it.
Bible, Question, Hymnals and etc. on the desk.
Misc. books and folders on the floor.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Appt w/Dr. H.
Had an appt with Dr. H. today. Went well. Dr. H. thought our open book questions sounded a little tricky. Thought I did well and am doing well. :)
When I mentioned I was thinking of finishing/rewriting the 2 I felt worst about, Dr. H. said to think about it like a kind of gambling. If I were going to gamble $20 and wouldn’t miss it but it could mean I don’t have to pay $150 later… it might be worth it. Said that if I only spend a couple hours per question now, even if COM/Bishop don’t ask for/want them, it probably won’t bother me and if I feel it’s better to spend the time now than later - when it might take more of an emotional toll in the beginning/middle of the semester – then might be good to go with that gut instinct and do it now. I told Dr. H. how I felt good about the Contemporary Society/Affluenza question and about the Practical Ministry questions.
I was telling Dr. H. about the Theology question and how after I read the definition for “divine providence” I thought, “Oh! Go to the Catechism!” and went to the Catechism and looked up the Holy Spirit and there it said that God is still at work in the world through the Holy Spirit. Dr. H. wondered how many other people made that link, mentioning my intelligence and ability to make connections and to think in complex ways. I’m not sure. Since we place an emphasis on Scripture, Tradition, and Reason, I tried to bring them all into my answers. Our librarian had said that they want to know that you know the position of the Episcopal Church and aren’t going to embarrass them or misrepresent them, etc. But one of my classmates mentioned the fact that I seemed to use the BCP in all my answers and that they didn’t really use the BCP at all… which I thought was odd. So who knows how many other people thought of going to the Catechism during that question… other might have been sucked into the history and theology of it (like I was) and either ran out of time to go there or didn’t occur to them to go there.
About my couch-potato, pajama-wearing stint the week after Christmas, Dr. H. wasn’t surprised that I was down for a while during the break. Said it had been an emotional semester for me and I don’t really allow myself a lot of down time during the semester, so no wonder I needed that time to recover and get ready for GOEs. Also probably wasn’t allowing myself to completely enjoy the couch-potato downtime due to negative self talk, etc.
We talked about how GOEs are like a rite of passage, how many professions have some sort of testing or exam and when you get through to the other side you start to not think of yourself so much as a student anymore. You seem to be more on the other side post exam, so after it you start to think of yourself more as the profession you’re entering, and less like a student. I don’t know how much that has happened with our class yet since we just took them, but I know I’ve seen it happen with the last 2 year’s classes during their Spring semester as they start looking to the future and looking for job placement, etc.
We talked about strategies for writing to the Bishop to let him know about what’s been going on with me – my growth, my progress, how I’ve been exploring and working on both my strengths and my weaknesses. I need to do that ASAP – like other things I feel bad about putting off, it’s been hard to get myself to work on this even since getting suggestions from Dr. H.
Later Dr. H. said, honestly any employer or Bishop is going to want a smart person who needs to learn to scale back some and learn some time management over someone who they are going to have to work hard with to get to grasp certain concepts. Dr. H. was cracking me up saying some things like, “oh darn… you mean I have this person who tends to put a lot of time and effort into things, wow… how awful.” That sort of thing. Heh!
In terms of “celebrating/relaxing” I told Dr. H. I was planning to go to the movies with R this afternoon. (planning to try and see Memoirs of a Geisha). Also mentioned I’d been to the gym today and yay for endorphins – Dr. H. said yeah, they can help.
I forgot to tell Dr. H. about the Christmas Eve guy in discernment (God seems to often bring people in discernment into my path).
Also forgot to mention how I did my homily in a short amount of time last night and got positive feedback from the folks about the evening prayer service I lead last night too. :) Got them to chant a little even, and one of them was asking me about teaching a class on the different monastic orders. That’s the first time I think I’ve had a parishioner ask/suggest that I teach a class on a particular subject. That was pretty cool. :)
When I mentioned I was thinking of finishing/rewriting the 2 I felt worst about, Dr. H. said to think about it like a kind of gambling. If I were going to gamble $20 and wouldn’t miss it but it could mean I don’t have to pay $150 later… it might be worth it. Said that if I only spend a couple hours per question now, even if COM/Bishop don’t ask for/want them, it probably won’t bother me and if I feel it’s better to spend the time now than later - when it might take more of an emotional toll in the beginning/middle of the semester – then might be good to go with that gut instinct and do it now. I told Dr. H. how I felt good about the Contemporary Society/Affluenza question and about the Practical Ministry questions.
I was telling Dr. H. about the Theology question and how after I read the definition for “divine providence” I thought, “Oh! Go to the Catechism!” and went to the Catechism and looked up the Holy Spirit and there it said that God is still at work in the world through the Holy Spirit. Dr. H. wondered how many other people made that link, mentioning my intelligence and ability to make connections and to think in complex ways. I’m not sure. Since we place an emphasis on Scripture, Tradition, and Reason, I tried to bring them all into my answers. Our librarian had said that they want to know that you know the position of the Episcopal Church and aren’t going to embarrass them or misrepresent them, etc. But one of my classmates mentioned the fact that I seemed to use the BCP in all my answers and that they didn’t really use the BCP at all… which I thought was odd. So who knows how many other people thought of going to the Catechism during that question… other might have been sucked into the history and theology of it (like I was) and either ran out of time to go there or didn’t occur to them to go there.
About my couch-potato, pajama-wearing stint the week after Christmas, Dr. H. wasn’t surprised that I was down for a while during the break. Said it had been an emotional semester for me and I don’t really allow myself a lot of down time during the semester, so no wonder I needed that time to recover and get ready for GOEs. Also probably wasn’t allowing myself to completely enjoy the couch-potato downtime due to negative self talk, etc.
We talked about how GOEs are like a rite of passage, how many professions have some sort of testing or exam and when you get through to the other side you start to not think of yourself so much as a student anymore. You seem to be more on the other side post exam, so after it you start to think of yourself more as the profession you’re entering, and less like a student. I don’t know how much that has happened with our class yet since we just took them, but I know I’ve seen it happen with the last 2 year’s classes during their Spring semester as they start looking to the future and looking for job placement, etc.
We talked about strategies for writing to the Bishop to let him know about what’s been going on with me – my growth, my progress, how I’ve been exploring and working on both my strengths and my weaknesses. I need to do that ASAP – like other things I feel bad about putting off, it’s been hard to get myself to work on this even since getting suggestions from Dr. H.
Later Dr. H. said, honestly any employer or Bishop is going to want a smart person who needs to learn to scale back some and learn some time management over someone who they are going to have to work hard with to get to grasp certain concepts. Dr. H. was cracking me up saying some things like, “oh darn… you mean I have this person who tends to put a lot of time and effort into things, wow… how awful.” That sort of thing. Heh!
In terms of “celebrating/relaxing” I told Dr. H. I was planning to go to the movies with R this afternoon. (planning to try and see Memoirs of a Geisha). Also mentioned I’d been to the gym today and yay for endorphins – Dr. H. said yeah, they can help.
I forgot to tell Dr. H. about the Christmas Eve guy in discernment (God seems to often bring people in discernment into my path).
Also forgot to mention how I did my homily in a short amount of time last night and got positive feedback from the folks about the evening prayer service I lead last night too. :) Got them to chant a little even, and one of them was asking me about teaching a class on the different monastic orders. That’s the first time I think I’ve had a parishioner ask/suggest that I teach a class on a particular subject. That was pretty cool. :)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Email to Dr. H.
Email excerpts to Dr. H. January 11, 2006:
Looking forward to tomorrow's appointment. Maybe we can talk some about:
a) Never finished incompletes even though I understood what was going on - so now I need to still do those.
b) Spent considerable time over Christmas break as couch potato-pajama wearing woman, that was a little scary. It had me worried about depression.
c) The GOE experience. (what it was like during, how I feel after?)
I think I mentioned that I realized during GOEs that knowledge/growth can happen so gradually that we don't realize it until pushed to the wall and feet to the fire, forced to apply it like GOEs. Even on questions I ran out of time on, I knew where to find info and felt I could finish it/answer it better (especially places where it turned to sketchy outline) given more time. So I realized I have been learning the sorts of things I'll need when I get out there, so that was positive and affirming, even if I was grumbly about how the question itself turned out.
You said when GOEs were over I should celebrate.
What I've been doing since GOEs. I haven't done a whole lot of celebrating.
Friday night they had a little party with snacks for us so I went to that for a while. Spent some time over the weekend and last couple days talking to some friends, sleeping, relaxing, and vegging on some movies to let my brain recover.
Made it to the gym to do the treadmill Saturday afternoon and yesterday, and got my computer hooked back up in my apartment yesterday. Have to lead Evening Prayer and give a little Homily (sermon) tonight at my field ed. I have a few thoughts about that, but need to figure out what I'm going to say since it's 11:15am and I need to have it figured out before I head to the church at 5pm. Been checking airfares today to go to diocesan convention to network and catch up on what's happening in my diocese (same weekend as my b-day so I'll get to see some family around my b-day).
I'm realizing how fast the next semester is going to go, and how quickly the last 2.5 years have gone by. Before we know it we're going to be done, graduating, classmates scattered across the U.S., and God willing I'll be being ordained as a deacon the first weekend of June in *hometown*, and a year from now to the priesthood.
Better go, see you tomorrow.
Looking forward to tomorrow's appointment. Maybe we can talk some about:
a) Never finished incompletes even though I understood what was going on - so now I need to still do those.
b) Spent considerable time over Christmas break as couch potato-pajama wearing woman, that was a little scary. It had me worried about depression.
c) The GOE experience. (what it was like during, how I feel after?)
I think I mentioned that I realized during GOEs that knowledge/growth can happen so gradually that we don't realize it until pushed to the wall and feet to the fire, forced to apply it like GOEs. Even on questions I ran out of time on, I knew where to find info and felt I could finish it/answer it better (especially places where it turned to sketchy outline) given more time. So I realized I have been learning the sorts of things I'll need when I get out there, so that was positive and affirming, even if I was grumbly about how the question itself turned out.
You said when GOEs were over I should celebrate.
What I've been doing since GOEs. I haven't done a whole lot of celebrating.
Friday night they had a little party with snacks for us so I went to that for a while. Spent some time over the weekend and last couple days talking to some friends, sleeping, relaxing, and vegging on some movies to let my brain recover.
Made it to the gym to do the treadmill Saturday afternoon and yesterday, and got my computer hooked back up in my apartment yesterday. Have to lead Evening Prayer and give a little Homily (sermon) tonight at my field ed. I have a few thoughts about that, but need to figure out what I'm going to say since it's 11:15am and I need to have it figured out before I head to the church at 5pm. Been checking airfares today to go to diocesan convention to network and catch up on what's happening in my diocese (same weekend as my b-day so I'll get to see some family around my b-day).
I'm realizing how fast the next semester is going to go, and how quickly the last 2.5 years have gone by. Before we know it we're going to be done, graduating, classmates scattered across the U.S., and God willing I'll be being ordained as a deacon the first weekend of June in *hometown*, and a year from now to the priesthood.
Better go, see you tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Post GOEs
Some reflections on the questions, etc. post GOEs after a little time to rest and recover. Maybe some day I'll type in the actual questions, or once they post them online include a link to them. I checked the other day, they still only had up through last year's posted.
The thing I realized during GOEs is that sometimes knowledge and growth happen so gradually we don't even realize it. In being pushed to the wall and feet to the fire, even on those I ran out of time on I knew where to go to find the info and was confident I could answer it okay given a little more time so it let me know that I *have* been learning the sorts of things I should have been during seminary. So that was affirming. I've been doing some relaxing, sleeping and vegging on a few braincandy movies for a couple days to recover.
The couple questions I feel worst about I'm thinking about rewriting/finishing this next week while the books are out and sticky-tabbed and the info is fresh in my mind. I'd hate to be part- way into the semester and not have looked at or thought about the question for over a month and have my Bishop and COM ask me to do a rewrite and have to juggle that in with coursework and other responsibilities. I know at least one other classmate who thinking of doing the same thing. I also know of some past students who in addition or in place of doing a re-write sent along some course papers from seminary in the subject area that they didn't do well in, to demonstrate their knowledge and capability to their Bishop and COM.
I agree with others that the 2 open book questions were the hardest for me, and not because of the broad area of the question, but because of the wacky twist they each had.
Had Theology wanted the theological issues about Jesus 325-381 AD, I found tons of info on that (and Arians, etc) immediately because the reason for the council seemed to be to rubberstamp/solidify the work done in 325 at Nicea, the trick was trying to figure out theological issues around the SPIRIT (about all I found were the Macedonians and Sabellians), which took me so long to find that I ran out of time to adequately answer the question, so my paper starts out like a paper and then eventually dissolves into outline as I didn't have time to finish fleshing it out. And can I just say thank God for Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms, Oxford Dictionary and Oxford Companion?
History was wacky with that teeny time window (1870-1910). I knew immediately as I read the question that I was going to go look up the Social Gospel Movement and Rauschenbusch (sp?) and see if that fell into the right period. It did, boom, had my U.S. piece. But then I spent so long finding something in England, that again I ran out of time to really write on the piece that I knew and had the most info on. Made me quite cranky. I kept finding Americans and Germans, and also discovered Romanticism and Oxford Movement ended to soon and other things started later, etc. Eventually went with Social Liberalism/Liberal Protestantism and F.D. Maurice, but again... it took me so long to find that stuff that the beginning and end (The Episcopal Church today) are written *okay* (not great) and part of the middle is a bit more like an outline.
Bible... can I just say that telling someone with ADD and an above average IQ to look at the whole of Romans and the whole of Hebrews, and that they can use anything in the BCP is almost as bad a black hole as an open book question? I had so many ideas about this question on the Wrath of God that I had a hard time narrowing it down and tying it all together in the time allowed. I did feel better about that one than the two open book questions. Had 3 pages and felt I'd addressed everything, but it wasn't quite as smooth/tight as it could have been with a little more time. Think (hope) I probably did enough to pass.
Ethics... not sure. I tried to make an argument for absolute triage (the practice in natural disaster of giving care to those more likely to survive and denying or delaying care to others) - think I did okay on the piece where we had to make a utilitarian argument for it, but 1) sort of ran out of time (but not like on the open books), and 2) on that day my heart wasn't really in justifying the practice of absolute triage (I could have made a better moral/ethical argument for respecting the life/dignity of others and giving them care) so it was harder to come up with arguments. I might have done enough of what they were looking for to pass. I tried to put in some ethical terms/ideas so that even if I get a 2 that my diocese would know that I had a grasp of Ethics and might not want me to do anything else in that area.
Liturgy: no problem creating the service. The problem was losing time getting real picky about various parts of the service so usings bits and pieces from various resources and also picky about which readings and which hymns I wanted - but I liked the service I ended up with. I had reasons/rationale, but a lot of it was more pastoral than theological, I tried to give theological reasons, not sure if I did enough of that or not.
Contemp. Society/Affluenza I felt good about, and then on Sunday my field ed parish as an adult ed class happened to show a video on Affluenza and as I watched it (hadn't seen it before) sat there thinking, "wrote about that, wrote about that, mentioned that, talked about that." So I left church feeling even better about that answer.
Practical Appl. Min. I felt good about - actually saw a similar situation as the Embezzling case go down, so I had some thoughts about what to do in that situation. Also felt okay about what I came up with for the second situation we had to address about Stewardship.
I think we've passed what the biggest/scariest hurdle. This next semester will be over before we know it. Can't believe 2.5 years have already gone by!
The thing I realized during GOEs is that sometimes knowledge and growth happen so gradually we don't even realize it. In being pushed to the wall and feet to the fire, even on those I ran out of time on I knew where to go to find the info and was confident I could answer it okay given a little more time so it let me know that I *have* been learning the sorts of things I should have been during seminary. So that was affirming. I've been doing some relaxing, sleeping and vegging on a few braincandy movies for a couple days to recover.
The couple questions I feel worst about I'm thinking about rewriting/finishing this next week while the books are out and sticky-tabbed and the info is fresh in my mind. I'd hate to be part- way into the semester and not have looked at or thought about the question for over a month and have my Bishop and COM ask me to do a rewrite and have to juggle that in with coursework and other responsibilities. I know at least one other classmate who thinking of doing the same thing. I also know of some past students who in addition or in place of doing a re-write sent along some course papers from seminary in the subject area that they didn't do well in, to demonstrate their knowledge and capability to their Bishop and COM.
I agree with others that the 2 open book questions were the hardest for me, and not because of the broad area of the question, but because of the wacky twist they each had.
Had Theology wanted the theological issues about Jesus 325-381 AD, I found tons of info on that (and Arians, etc) immediately because the reason for the council seemed to be to rubberstamp/solidify the work done in 325 at Nicea, the trick was trying to figure out theological issues around the SPIRIT (about all I found were the Macedonians and Sabellians), which took me so long to find that I ran out of time to adequately answer the question, so my paper starts out like a paper and then eventually dissolves into outline as I didn't have time to finish fleshing it out. And can I just say thank God for Westminster Dictionary of Theological Terms, Oxford Dictionary and Oxford Companion?
History was wacky with that teeny time window (1870-1910). I knew immediately as I read the question that I was going to go look up the Social Gospel Movement and Rauschenbusch (sp?) and see if that fell into the right period. It did, boom, had my U.S. piece. But then I spent so long finding something in England, that again I ran out of time to really write on the piece that I knew and had the most info on. Made me quite cranky. I kept finding Americans and Germans, and also discovered Romanticism and Oxford Movement ended to soon and other things started later, etc. Eventually went with Social Liberalism/Liberal Protestantism and F.D. Maurice, but again... it took me so long to find that stuff that the beginning and end (The Episcopal Church today) are written *okay* (not great) and part of the middle is a bit more like an outline.
Bible... can I just say that telling someone with ADD and an above average IQ to look at the whole of Romans and the whole of Hebrews, and that they can use anything in the BCP is almost as bad a black hole as an open book question? I had so many ideas about this question on the Wrath of God that I had a hard time narrowing it down and tying it all together in the time allowed. I did feel better about that one than the two open book questions. Had 3 pages and felt I'd addressed everything, but it wasn't quite as smooth/tight as it could have been with a little more time. Think (hope) I probably did enough to pass.
Ethics... not sure. I tried to make an argument for absolute triage (the practice in natural disaster of giving care to those more likely to survive and denying or delaying care to others) - think I did okay on the piece where we had to make a utilitarian argument for it, but 1) sort of ran out of time (but not like on the open books), and 2) on that day my heart wasn't really in justifying the practice of absolute triage (I could have made a better moral/ethical argument for respecting the life/dignity of others and giving them care) so it was harder to come up with arguments. I might have done enough of what they were looking for to pass. I tried to put in some ethical terms/ideas so that even if I get a 2 that my diocese would know that I had a grasp of Ethics and might not want me to do anything else in that area.
Liturgy: no problem creating the service. The problem was losing time getting real picky about various parts of the service so usings bits and pieces from various resources and also picky about which readings and which hymns I wanted - but I liked the service I ended up with. I had reasons/rationale, but a lot of it was more pastoral than theological, I tried to give theological reasons, not sure if I did enough of that or not.
Contemp. Society/Affluenza I felt good about, and then on Sunday my field ed parish as an adult ed class happened to show a video on Affluenza and as I watched it (hadn't seen it before) sat there thinking, "wrote about that, wrote about that, mentioned that, talked about that." So I left church feeling even better about that answer.
Practical Appl. Min. I felt good about - actually saw a similar situation as the Embezzling case go down, so I had some thoughts about what to do in that situation. Also felt okay about what I came up with for the second situation we had to address about Stewardship.
I think we've passed what the biggest/scariest hurdle. This next semester will be over before we know it. Can't believe 2.5 years have already gone by!
Sunday, January 08, 2006
GOE Song and Questions
A classmate sent our class a song that someone wrote about GOEs that they'd posted on their blog. I did a search for the link and found it here:
http://hereticscorner.typepad.com/kinesis/2006/01/i_wrote_a_song_.html
It goes to the tune of 12-days of Christmas (appropriate as we were testing in the Christmas/Epiphany season). I laughed out loud when I read the song because I could relate to a lot of it. :) Cute and creative.
This person has also started posting some of the GOE Questions that we had to answer on their blog as well.
http://hereticscorner.typepad.com/kinesis/2006/01/i_wrote_a_song_.html
It goes to the tune of 12-days of Christmas (appropriate as we were testing in the Christmas/Epiphany season). I laughed out loud when I read the song because I could relate to a lot of it. :) Cute and creative.
This person has also started posting some of the GOE Questions that we had to answer on their blog as well.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Recovering & Reflection
Slightly modified excerpts from an email to a friend about how GOEs went and How I was recovering:
Hey... thanks for the email. Too tired and brain fried to type much now. No internet at home since my computer is in the empty apartment across the hall from mine where I was taking my exams. Came to the library to check out some funny, brainless movies to veg on this afternoon.
Did actually make it to the gym today for only about the 3rd time since I joined at the beginning of the Fall semester. Did 32 min on treadmill, 30 min +2 cooldown.
Exams went okay... about as I expected, but a little better in some ways. There was stress and anxiety on top, but a level of calm underneath it all that made me feel that the calm was a result of all the folks praying for me/us this week.
The two open book questions I didn't have time to really finish so the end of them get sketchy and outline-ish - spent too much time doing research, many of us did. The good news is the 2 that got more sketchy I felt confident I could answer, just ran out of time. So... apparently I've been learning the kinds of things they wanted me to learn during my time in seminary.
Trying to decide if I want to finish/rewrite the 2 questions I don't feel as good about this next week while it's fresh in my mind and the only obligation I currently have is to give a homily at my field ed parish Wednesday night. That way if my Bishop and COM want some evidence I know that subject area, I won't have to go re-research it while immersed in our last semester. I could be pro-active and even send it ahead of time. The other good news is that for questionable exams one of the readers for my diocese is Rev. K. I was griping to her about History Question that I ran out of time on, before she told me she'd recently been asked to be a reader, so she knows that I knew the information on that one. She was encouraging - "the people in diocese know you and you've got supporters on the COM, it should be fine."
The other 5 questions I finished in a better fashion and hope to get a passing score and a couple I felt I should have done pretty well on and if I don't pass will be surprised. Also got the hard copy of my Senior Evaluation saying they feel I'm personally and academically ready for ordination (copy to me, orig to my Bishop), so that's good.
Well I better go and veg/sleep/recover.
Hey... thanks for the email. Too tired and brain fried to type much now. No internet at home since my computer is in the empty apartment across the hall from mine where I was taking my exams. Came to the library to check out some funny, brainless movies to veg on this afternoon.
Did actually make it to the gym today for only about the 3rd time since I joined at the beginning of the Fall semester. Did 32 min on treadmill, 30 min +2 cooldown.
Exams went okay... about as I expected, but a little better in some ways. There was stress and anxiety on top, but a level of calm underneath it all that made me feel that the calm was a result of all the folks praying for me/us this week.
The two open book questions I didn't have time to really finish so the end of them get sketchy and outline-ish - spent too much time doing research, many of us did. The good news is the 2 that got more sketchy I felt confident I could answer, just ran out of time. So... apparently I've been learning the kinds of things they wanted me to learn during my time in seminary.
Trying to decide if I want to finish/rewrite the 2 questions I don't feel as good about this next week while it's fresh in my mind and the only obligation I currently have is to give a homily at my field ed parish Wednesday night. That way if my Bishop and COM want some evidence I know that subject area, I won't have to go re-research it while immersed in our last semester. I could be pro-active and even send it ahead of time. The other good news is that for questionable exams one of the readers for my diocese is Rev. K. I was griping to her about History Question that I ran out of time on, before she told me she'd recently been asked to be a reader, so she knows that I knew the information on that one. She was encouraging - "the people in diocese know you and you've got supporters on the COM, it should be fine."
The other 5 questions I finished in a better fashion and hope to get a passing score and a couple I felt I should have done pretty well on and if I don't pass will be surprised. Also got the hard copy of my Senior Evaluation saying they feel I'm personally and academically ready for ordination (copy to me, orig to my Bishop), so that's good.
Well I better go and veg/sleep/recover.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Day 2 Reflection/Email
An Email to a Mentor:
Thanks K!
I can feel that I've been covered in prayer by many folks because despite some of the stress and anxiety of taking the Exams, underneath it all there is a feeling of calm, that all will be well. Kind of like when you stress about a birthday (like turning any of those years where you feel "old"), but then when it gets there the day is fine because what can you do... the birthday is there so you might as well suck it up. Been trying to be mindful of offering my own prayers too so that even while I'm trying to do my best, I stay focused on God and the bigger picture.
On a couple questions I've fallen into the research pit a bit (as I feared), even though I've trying hard not to. The nature of the questions and my lack of memory/knowledge meant I had to look stuff up, so then I struggled to get something coherent written and pulled together in time (even with the extra hour). I've known where to find the information and haven't even run to the library or found internet access for more info than I had in the apartment, but in addition to having to look up the topic:
1) Its hard to narrow my focus while I'm trying to look up stuff
2) I think of a lot of ideas, and
3) by the time I find the info I need and try to understand it enough to write about I'm running out of time to really write well or flesh it out like I know I could.
So that's been a little frustrating. I knew open book would probably be my biggest challenge.
On the other hand, knowing that I could answer them better with just a little more time gives me confidence that:
a) I've apparently been learning what I'm supposed to in seminary, and
b) if I get a" 2" (I think I've answered enough that I wouldn't get a 1 on anything we've had so far) I'm confident about my ability to re-write it and send to the diocese/commission or to send along previous work I've done in school on the subject.
I've been trying to follow M's suggestion when he was here in the Fall to try to have some information in for all parts, even if I didn't have time to do much with it, so that not only will the readers and the diocese have some idea of what I was thinking and could have done with more time, but also I will be reminded if I decide to do (or am asked to do) a re-write.
I was pretty happy about the liturgy question yesterday. We were asked to create a Public Service of Healing as a result of a chemical plant explosion in the community, and explain our choices. Also I had a lot of ideas on what to do for the Contemp Society question (I was afraid that with only a Bible I'd draw a blank and not be able to come up with enough for 3 pages).
Well I'm at the library since my computer is in the apartment across the hall and not hooked up to the internet. So I should run along and try to relax and get some sleep to get ready for Day 3. Tomorrow we have Bible and then the afternoon off.
Thanks again for the prayers and the support!
Thanks K!
I can feel that I've been covered in prayer by many folks because despite some of the stress and anxiety of taking the Exams, underneath it all there is a feeling of calm, that all will be well. Kind of like when you stress about a birthday (like turning any of those years where you feel "old"), but then when it gets there the day is fine because what can you do... the birthday is there so you might as well suck it up. Been trying to be mindful of offering my own prayers too so that even while I'm trying to do my best, I stay focused on God and the bigger picture.
On a couple questions I've fallen into the research pit a bit (as I feared), even though I've trying hard not to. The nature of the questions and my lack of memory/knowledge meant I had to look stuff up, so then I struggled to get something coherent written and pulled together in time (even with the extra hour). I've known where to find the information and haven't even run to the library or found internet access for more info than I had in the apartment, but in addition to having to look up the topic:
1) Its hard to narrow my focus while I'm trying to look up stuff
2) I think of a lot of ideas, and
3) by the time I find the info I need and try to understand it enough to write about I'm running out of time to really write well or flesh it out like I know I could.
So that's been a little frustrating. I knew open book would probably be my biggest challenge.
On the other hand, knowing that I could answer them better with just a little more time gives me confidence that:
a) I've apparently been learning what I'm supposed to in seminary, and
b) if I get a" 2" (I think I've answered enough that I wouldn't get a 1 on anything we've had so far) I'm confident about my ability to re-write it and send to the diocese/commission or to send along previous work I've done in school on the subject.
I've been trying to follow M's suggestion when he was here in the Fall to try to have some information in for all parts, even if I didn't have time to do much with it, so that not only will the readers and the diocese have some idea of what I was thinking and could have done with more time, but also I will be reminded if I decide to do (or am asked to do) a re-write.
I was pretty happy about the liturgy question yesterday. We were asked to create a Public Service of Healing as a result of a chemical plant explosion in the community, and explain our choices. Also I had a lot of ideas on what to do for the Contemp Society question (I was afraid that with only a Bible I'd draw a blank and not be able to come up with enough for 3 pages).
Well I'm at the library since my computer is in the apartment across the hall and not hooked up to the internet. So I should run along and try to relax and get some sleep to get ready for Day 3. Tomorrow we have Bible and then the afternoon off.
Thanks again for the prayers and the support!
GOEs Day 2
GOEs day 2.
The group of us singing the sanctus acapella this morning around the altar was an awesome way to start the day.
So the bad news is that like we thought the open book questions are kind of a nightmare disaster in terms of trying to find the info, not get too far afield, try to stop at just a couple things and just type something in (keep looking for better info because what I'm finding doesn't seem like much).
Like today. History. (By the way: yesterday we had history masquerading as theology and today we had theology masquerading as history - makes sense there is an overlap though).
We had to mention theological developments around social problems created by the industrial revolution (such as poverty, exploitation of workers) 1870 to 1910 - at least one each in England and in America. Well I was pretty sure from memory about a guy/movement in America (The Social Gospel Movement - Rauchenbusch). Looked it up, sure enough I was right - boom, done!
But for England - tricky. Found people from Germany & America, or people from just before or just after the time period. The one I finally found was pretty much the same development as America (called Social Liberalism and Liberal Protestantism). I was trying to find something different to make sure I answered it the way they wanted. Finally I had to go with it and a couple of English guys who I'd never heard of before so they aren't the "biggies" (F.D. Maurice and someone named Kingsley?). And because I spent so much time trying to find the England piece, then I didn't have time to do much with the America piece when that was the one I knew better. *grumble*
All of which to say that by the time I find enough info I run out of time to consolidate it all, so on 2 questions I have somewhat incomplete papers. I've gotten the beginning/first page written (and even that done hurriedly), but then after that it gets more sketchy with some outline type blurbs and sentences in places addressing some of the topics they wanted so that they and I know where I was going (for me in case I have to do a re-write, for them in case they are gracious and decide just mentioning it was enough to pass). But not written at all they way I could with just a little more time.
I feel like it doesn't represent my knowledge or ability, so that's a little frustrating
The good news is that with another hour (or two, several at most... wouldn't need the whole day or anything), I feel I could have ended up with a nicely written paper that was pretty coherent and did what they asked.
So... a) apparently I seem to be learning what I was supposed to so far in seminary. And b) since there's a pretty good chance I could get a "2" on those two questions instead of a "3" which is passing (I think/hope I had enough that they wouldn't give a 1), if my diocese/Bishop want me to do a re-write I feel confident in my ability to provide an adequate answer.
I was afraid I'd draw a blank on the question today where we only had a Bible as a resource. Would I have enough to say to fill 3 single spaced pages? The good news is that I was able to come up with some good ideas. Of course even there I had more ideas in each area we were supposed to hit than they wanted. We had to talk about contemporary society and "Affluenza" - the tendency toward overconsumption, while talking about how we personally respond as Christians and back it up with biblical and theological rationale.
4 questions down and 3 to go!
Tomorrow we only have 1 question on Bible and since they give us a Bible and liturgical resources (but that's it, not Open Book), we speculate we might plan a service, which I think would make me happy.
Friday both questions are closed book, so no research pit for me... only the brainstorming pit, which is not quite so much the black hole.
The group of us singing the sanctus acapella this morning around the altar was an awesome way to start the day.
So the bad news is that like we thought the open book questions are kind of a nightmare disaster in terms of trying to find the info, not get too far afield, try to stop at just a couple things and just type something in (keep looking for better info because what I'm finding doesn't seem like much).
Like today. History. (By the way: yesterday we had history masquerading as theology and today we had theology masquerading as history - makes sense there is an overlap though).
We had to mention theological developments around social problems created by the industrial revolution (such as poverty, exploitation of workers) 1870 to 1910 - at least one each in England and in America. Well I was pretty sure from memory about a guy/movement in America (The Social Gospel Movement - Rauchenbusch). Looked it up, sure enough I was right - boom, done!
But for England - tricky. Found people from Germany & America, or people from just before or just after the time period. The one I finally found was pretty much the same development as America (called Social Liberalism and Liberal Protestantism). I was trying to find something different to make sure I answered it the way they wanted. Finally I had to go with it and a couple of English guys who I'd never heard of before so they aren't the "biggies" (F.D. Maurice and someone named Kingsley?). And because I spent so much time trying to find the England piece, then I didn't have time to do much with the America piece when that was the one I knew better. *grumble*
All of which to say that by the time I find enough info I run out of time to consolidate it all, so on 2 questions I have somewhat incomplete papers. I've gotten the beginning/first page written (and even that done hurriedly), but then after that it gets more sketchy with some outline type blurbs and sentences in places addressing some of the topics they wanted so that they and I know where I was going (for me in case I have to do a re-write, for them in case they are gracious and decide just mentioning it was enough to pass). But not written at all they way I could with just a little more time.
I feel like it doesn't represent my knowledge or ability, so that's a little frustrating
The good news is that with another hour (or two, several at most... wouldn't need the whole day or anything), I feel I could have ended up with a nicely written paper that was pretty coherent and did what they asked.
So... a) apparently I seem to be learning what I was supposed to so far in seminary. And b) since there's a pretty good chance I could get a "2" on those two questions instead of a "3" which is passing (I think/hope I had enough that they wouldn't give a 1), if my diocese/Bishop want me to do a re-write I feel confident in my ability to provide an adequate answer.
I was afraid I'd draw a blank on the question today where we only had a Bible as a resource. Would I have enough to say to fill 3 single spaced pages? The good news is that I was able to come up with some good ideas. Of course even there I had more ideas in each area we were supposed to hit than they wanted. We had to talk about contemporary society and "Affluenza" - the tendency toward overconsumption, while talking about how we personally respond as Christians and back it up with biblical and theological rationale.
4 questions down and 3 to go!
Tomorrow we only have 1 question on Bible and since they give us a Bible and liturgical resources (but that's it, not Open Book), we speculate we might plan a service, which I think would make me happy.
Friday both questions are closed book, so no research pit for me... only the brainstorming pit, which is not quite so much the black hole.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
GOEs Day 1
GOEs day 1 is over.
Started the day with communion. The post-communion prayer words:
(...Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage
to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart...)
really hit me today, had to blink back tears. Went to the room for the questions and we got goody-bags with snacks and a couple notes from Juniors/Middlers/Spouses.
Today we had Theology for our first question - got to talk about the First Council of Constantinople in 381 and the addition of the third paragraph to the Nicene Creed about the divinity of the Holy Spirit.
Question 2: for Liturgy we got to create a public service of healing for a community that had had a chemical plant explosion that caused some deaths and illness and needed individual healing as well as in the community because of some conflict caused since many parishioners or their relatives worked there.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? ;)
I was struggling to get everything done in the time limit and falling into the research pit a bit (won't have that problem on the closed book questions or the one where we only get a Bible). But on the bright side, it hasn't been as horrible or drawing as much of a mental blank as I thought I would. For Theology I had to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what the theological issues were at the time, among other things so I could understand it enough to write about it.
I saw the Liturgy question and thought "yes!" no problem, I'll have this done in no time (since I like creating services and used the healing rite during my chapel week). But the problem was we had so many liturgical resources available to us that I spent a lot of time being picky about what I wanted to use really trying to taylor it to the situation they described (which collect, which readings, which prayers, which hymns) - so not as easy as it looked on the surface. ;)
Testing in the apartment across the hall, not quite as lovely as I thought it would be. Good because no distractions, no kitties, all I had was my computer, my books and my snacks. But I had the table where I could get some sun and by afternoon it started getting hot, then the wind picked up and with the sliding door open started blowing the vertical blinds all over the place - it messed them up so now they don't open/close very easy. I might scoot the table down a bit to avoid some of the sun tomorrow.
But I'm still in one piece and in relatively good spirits. So I guess R+ was right... All will be well (Julian of Norwich). :) I have that over my computer as well as some other spiritual reminders and writing reminders.
Looking forward to a good night's sleep. I can feel the prayers that are covering me and us all.
Started the day with communion. The post-communion prayer words:
(...Send us now into the world in peace, and grant us strength and courage
to love and serve you with gladness and singleness of heart...)
really hit me today, had to blink back tears. Went to the room for the questions and we got goody-bags with snacks and a couple notes from Juniors/Middlers/Spouses.
Today we had Theology for our first question - got to talk about the First Council of Constantinople in 381 and the addition of the third paragraph to the Nicene Creed about the divinity of the Holy Spirit.
Question 2: for Liturgy we got to create a public service of healing for a community that had had a chemical plant explosion that caused some deaths and illness and needed individual healing as well as in the community because of some conflict caused since many parishioners or their relatives worked there.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring? ;)
I was struggling to get everything done in the time limit and falling into the research pit a bit (won't have that problem on the closed book questions or the one where we only get a Bible). But on the bright side, it hasn't been as horrible or drawing as much of a mental blank as I thought I would. For Theology I had to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what the theological issues were at the time, among other things so I could understand it enough to write about it.
I saw the Liturgy question and thought "yes!" no problem, I'll have this done in no time (since I like creating services and used the healing rite during my chapel week). But the problem was we had so many liturgical resources available to us that I spent a lot of time being picky about what I wanted to use really trying to taylor it to the situation they described (which collect, which readings, which prayers, which hymns) - so not as easy as it looked on the surface. ;)
Testing in the apartment across the hall, not quite as lovely as I thought it would be. Good because no distractions, no kitties, all I had was my computer, my books and my snacks. But I had the table where I could get some sun and by afternoon it started getting hot, then the wind picked up and with the sliding door open started blowing the vertical blinds all over the place - it messed them up so now they don't open/close very easy. I might scoot the table down a bit to avoid some of the sun tomorrow.
But I'm still in one piece and in relatively good spirits. So I guess R+ was right... All will be well (Julian of Norwich). :) I have that over my computer as well as some other spiritual reminders and writing reminders.
Looking forward to a good night's sleep. I can feel the prayers that are covering me and us all.
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